Monday, May 31, 2010

One small step for Cara...

I discovered a really cool thing this weekend...

I can now tuck my shirt into my pants and you can't see my tummy bulging over the tops of my pants!!!


I have to admit, though, it's a little disconcerting. I'm so used to pulling my shirts over my pants to hide the bulge that I feel like something's wrong when I don't. I find myself, like I have some sort of OCD problem, grabbing for the tail of my shirt to pull it down every time I stand up. But its not there. It's tucked in my pants. Its like, something is wrong, where's my shirt, it should be there. But so I have nothing to grab on to, so I just run my hands on the tops of my hips so uncomfortably like 'yea, I meant to do that'. I just feel lopsided or something. So weird.

We met the in-laws for breakfast this morning and we went do Denny's. I was SURE they had nothing healthy for me to eat there and I was so dreading it. Turns out they have added healthy breakfast items to their menu.

I got 2 egg whites with onion and mushrooms, 2 whole wheat pancakes with no butter but sugar free syrup, a chicken sausage patty (yes, chicken!... I've never heard of a chicken sausage before, but it actually tasted like a turkey sausage, so it was good), and a cup of fruit (cantaloupe, strawberries and bananas). I haven't figured the points yet, but I know it was a BUNCH better than what I was expecting.

Before, whenever we'd go to Denny's for breakfast, the waitress would argue with me that they couldn't make an egg-white omelet because they would be too small made only with whites. So I quit arguing with her and just would usually get oatmeal with fruit or a bowl of cereal. Yea, not very exciting for eating breakfast in a restaurant!

So what did you guys do for Memorial Day weekend? Did you make it through without eating everything in sight?

I did splurge a little (well, maybe a lot) yesterday. I had a big fat cheese burger (it had sauteed onions and mushrooms with goat cheese, Mmmm!) and onion rings. But I did good the rest of the day, on plan!

I'm going to try and eat on plan today. Gonna be hard with the cook-outs and all, but I'm gonna try. Drink plenty of water... plenty of water!!


Saturday, May 29, 2010

Nobody puts Baby in the corner...

One of my all-time favorite movie quotes! Thank you, Mad Woman, I LOVED that!

Well, Baby's not in the corner any more. I'm not up on stage dancing, quite yet, but I'm at least heading for the dance floor.

Today's weigh in found me 8/10ths of a pound lighter. And for that, I say YIPPEE!!!

Oh my gosh, I was so NOT expecting that! If you guys only knew what I hate last weekend. And by last weekend, I mean Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday. I wont' go into the details, but I will tell you that by Tuesday morning I was over 5 pounds heavier than I was Saturday morning.

I didn't blog about this, but 2 weekends ago, my official weigh in had me gaining 1.8 lbs in one week. I totally rejected it because I had been eating on plan and doing everything I'm supposed to do. I was even the exact same weight at home that Saturday morning as I was the previous Saturday morning. But for whatever reason, by the time I got to Weight Watchers (a whopping 15 minutes after I'd weighed myself at home), I'd somehow managed to gain 1.8 pounds.

I totally rejected it. There's no possible way I could have gained that much after the stellar week I'd had before that weigh in.

Then the next week came (week before last). I thought for sure those 1.8 lbs wouldn't still be there when I weighed in. And though most of them were gone, I still only lost 6/10ths of a pound. What tha heck!!??

That's when I couldn't bring myself to face the world... I recessed into my corner. I just don't think its fair that I should work and work at something and then the result not match the efforts.

But you know... that is life!

Sometimes the early bird doesn't get the worm. Sometimes you don't get out of it what you put into it. Sometimes life doesn't give you lemonade when all you're dealt is lemons.

What a revelation, huh?

Now if I can just keep remembering that!

So we arrive at this week's weigh in when I'm down another 8/10ths. Still, I have a little more to lose to get those 1.8 pounds off, but I am very satisfied with my loss this week. I worked hard for it and it happened.

This week at Weight Watchers we talked about how we need to amp up our activity. Funny, huh? When just a couple of days ago I said the same exact thing. Perfect timing! Absolute perfect timing.

So this week I need to commit to regular exercise, not just the usual walking. I haven't quite formed a plan yet, but I intend to before the weekend is up. I'll let you know what I come up with.

I want to thank each and every one of you for the gorgeous comments you've been leaving me. We really all are in this together. And you guys help me out SO much on my journey. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart.



Thursday, May 27, 2010

I've been hiding in a corner...

Blue, when you're right you're right. Was I on vacation? Nope, I was cowering in the corner beating myself up.

Can you believe that? Just a few weeks ago, I was on top of my game. On top of my world. Three years of total dedication to my weight loss and three weeks later I feel like a total failure.

I've been eating and eating and eating. I just can't stop. I'm not even hungry most times, I just feel the urge to eat. And then I wonder...

Why can't I get these last few pounds off?

Well, I'll tell you why. I have been doing some deep soul searching lately and I've come to some conclusions.

#1. I love food.

I have a passionate love affair with food. Any kind of food. My favorite, of course, are the baked kind. The sweet, sweet baked kind. But I can't limit my love affair to the sweets. No, I'm an equal opportunity food lover. I LOVE a great cheese burger. And I'm all over the cheese fries. Yup, I'm desperately in LOVE with food.

I kept thinking that one day I'd grow strong enough to over come this love and keep the food demons at bay. But I'm coming to the realization that THAT just isn't going to happen. So what I've got to do is coexist with my obsession with all things edible. I need to embrace it and recognize it for what it is and learn to live with it.

#2. If I really wanted to lose these last few pounds, I'd get off my lazy butt and do something about it. Uh hem. Which translates into... exercise!

Walking is great exercise. Tremendous exercise. It's helped me lose the 100+ pounds that I've lost so far. And walking is awesome for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. But I have to be honest with myself and say that walking--alone--isn't going to help me shed these extra few pounds. I need real exercise.

So somewhere I need to come up with the motivation to kick it in gear and commit to regular, hard exercise. I mean, I don't have to go crazy about the whole thing. Just regular calisthenics you know, would do the trick. Jumping jacks. Sit ups. Speed walking. Push ups. Lunges. Etc., etc.

I have all the resources I need. I've got ExerciseTV on demand. I've got DVDs out the wazoo. I've got several books (one of which is the Biggest Loser exercise plan). I'm equipped. I just need to do it.

So hear I go, crawling out of my corner of shame. Climbing up to my feet and taking that first step...

P.S. Thanks, BlueRaspberry for the email encouragement. You're always there when I need you. Love you!!


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

3 Years ago today...

Three years ago today, I started my weight loss journey.

This was me 3 years ago:

And this is me today (literally, I just snapped this shot).

I'm 104 pounds lighter today than when I was on May 12, 2007.

When I walked into Weight Watchers 3 years ago, I weight 265 pounds. And if you'd have told me then that it would take me 3 years to lose those 104 lbs, I probably would have turned around and walked right out of there.

But I'm so glad I didn't.

I've never missed a Weight Watcher's meeting since that day. Not one week. I weighed in during the weeks, sometimes, whenever I had something going on on Saturdays that would prevent me from attending my regular Saturday morning meeting. And I've even found Weight Watchers meetings while I was on vacation in different states.

I knew if I missed one week, that would be it. If I gave myself permission to miss one week's weigh in, then there would be nothing stopping me from attending hit or miss, willy nilly. No, I know me and I know that if I do that, I'll never reach my goal.

So three years later and 104 lbs gone, I'm still going strong.

I'm only 6.2 lbs away from my Weight Watchers goal. Realistically, it'll be another 3-6 months before those pounds come off. But I'm not discouraged or detoured. I'm steady on, eye on the prize. I'm going to do it! I will. No matter if it takes me another 3 years. I will make goal!


Saturday, May 8, 2010

Weight loss HAS to be deliberate...

Weigh in this morning... Lost 1.2 lbs!!

So all total, I've lost 104.0 lbs!!!

(Technically, though, I've lost 114 lbs because I lost 10 lbs on NutriSystems the year before I started Weight Watchers.)

And another big milestone is coming up this week. As of May 12th, I will have been enrolled in Weight Watchers for 3 full years without missing one single meeting in all three years! Perfect attendance. That was always my forte in school. I may not have gotten straight A's but I always got perfect attendance awards. :)

This past week I've been thinking alot about how deliberate weight loss has to be. Its not something that I can do just haphazardly or willy-nilly. Its not something I can "kinda" "sort" do. It's something that I have to give my full attention and full effort.

Its something that requires focus and determination. It can be exhausting, you know? Of course you know!

My personality type is one where I have a tenancy to obsess over things. In the mid-90s we bought a Nintendo console and Sonic the Hedge Hog. I got so addicted to that game, I would never shut it off. That was back with there were no memory cards so if you shut the game off, you lost where you were. There were like 29 levels and I couldn't stop playing the game. Every waking moment. Was bad. But that's how I am. Once I find something that captures my attention, I'm hooked and almost blinded by it. Blinded to everything around it so all I see is just it.

That's how this weight loss thing gets at times. I've heard my husband and daughter say so many times "that's all you ever talk about". Now, mind you, they are SO incredibly loving and supportive of my weight loss efforts and are behind me 1000%. But I know it's gotta get old after a while. I know they get tired of me talking about how many points I have left for the day or how many points a particular food item has, etc. I mean, I've been at this non-stop for the past 3 years. That's 1,095 days... 156.5 weeks... 156 weigh ins... I'm sure they get tired of me talking about it ALL the time.

But my point is, that we have to talk about it all the time. If we don't, we're likely to push it to 2nd priority and then there goes our hard earned efforts. Everyone around us has to know that weight loss is a priority in our lives. We have to know that too. We have to keep it at the top of our to do list constantly. We have to put ourselves at the top of that list, too. Because without putting ourselves at the top, nothing we do--weight loss wise--will make a difference.

Its hard, though. You know? Its so hard to put ourselves first rather than our family or children. We've been so trained to "put everyone else first". I mean, heck, even Jesus put himself first. He knew that he needed rest to be fresh and alive for the mission ahead of him so he took a nap on the boat with the fishermen. Even when the storms raged, he slept. He knew he needed to put himself first and that the fishermen/disciples could take care of themselves.

From the outside, it could look like Jesus was being selfish and cold hearted to totally ignore those closest tho him, those who were like family to him, and some of them were family. But he knew that if he didn't put himself first and get the rest that his body needed, he would be worth nothing the next day and no good to anyone.

That's a good lesson for us. We have to put ourselves first and our weight loss efforts at the top of our to do list every day. Its not selfish. If we don't lose weight where will we be. We're not going to get healthier... We're not going to live longer... we're not going to be happier as long as we're over weight.

So lets keep our eye on the prize and keep focused on our weight loss efforts this week. Don't be afraid to tell someone no (even if it's your own child), if it means that you're going to have to compromise your weight loss efforts or sacrifice your own well being and health. It's not worth it. It's not worth it to them either. They might not realize it. They might see you as being selfish or obsessed but you're doing it for them, too. So that you'll be around longer to take care of them and to be in their life.

You first.

Weight loss efforts at the top of your to do list.

Without fail.

What do you think?


Sunday, May 2, 2010

Losing weight needs to be a habit...

Yesterday's weigh in went fairly well. I didn't gain. That was good. But I didn't lose either. But that's okay being as I lost 1.8 lbs last week.

I checked my chart in Weight Watcher's online and I think I'm finally on the right track. Since the beginning of February, I've lost a total of 8.6 lbs with an average of .7 lbs each week. NOT BAD!!

If I can keep this momentum, I'll be at Weight Watcher's goal (which is 155) by the end of June. Wouldn't that be wonderful??!!

I could be at goal this summer.

That sentence just looks so wonderful to me. I sure hope I can do it. But I'm not going to keep my eyes focused on how much I can lose each week. I've done that before and it has blown up on me every time. I have to keep my eyes on the overall picture. As long as the overall line keeps heading downward (even if it spikes up once in a while) then I'm still winning the battle.

I tracked my food intake all last week. That's 2 weeks in a row. I sure hope I can keep doing it. Our meeting yesterday was about making something a habit. This is the one thing I want to become a habit.

Weight Watcher's came out with a cute little vinyl cover for the 3-month journal. It's perfect! The journal cover slips into the plastic strips on the inside. And it closes with a magnetic snap. I bought one. They were only $6. I got the one that's got big tri-colored blue polka dots. It's so cute. Now I don't have to worry about my journal getting munched up in my purse. 

I've seen these before and I wanted to buy this one. Isn't it just the cutest! But it was $14, which is way too much for me right now. I love the ribbon book mark. I might try to rig something like that for the one I bought.

Oh, and I did the drawing for the Yoplait Inner Goddess giveaway and comment #10, Nicole, won! She didn't leave a link to her blog, otherwise I'd leave a note for her on her blog and give you guys a link to her blog. But I'll contact her via email to let her know she's the winner. But here's a link to her comment.

I have a few smaller giveaways I'm going to be doing soon. If I can get my act together, I'll do them this coming week.

So tell me, what weight loss habit helps you them most? What do you do on a regular basis (or would like to do) that keeps you on track and losing??