inspiration is a two way street...

Well, I'm feeling a little better about the scope of what I've gotten myself into. I have to say that I was very humbled by your comments to my last blog. You know, I'd found motivation before when I heard people at work tell me that they were amazed at my transformation or how great I was looking but I found even more motivation from the people who would tell me that I had inspired them. Little ole me. Not much of much. Inspiring anyone??? That was hard for me to believe, but they kept saying it time after time. It might have been that I inspired them to become more active or to stop eating sweets or to lose that extra 10 pounds they'd been saddle with for years or to make it back to the gym on a regular basis or whatever. It was nice to hear that my hard work was paying off in other people's lives too.

Then when I read your comments from my last post, and you said how I had inspired you guys. I was amazed. For me, 80 pounds is a huge accomplishment and also a small one. Sitting here 80 pounds thinner I can see where it's taken me a very long time and a very difficult journey to get here. But in the same token, I sit here 80 pounds thinner saying to myself that it wasn't all that hard and doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

But wait!

It's a huge deal!!!

I think my main thing is that I'd become complaisant with my weight loss. I'd forgotten the struggles and pain that I'd gone through over the last year. I'd gotten bored with this whole weight loss thing and had somehow forgotten all of the sacrifice and heart aches along the way.

It all is for something, you know. And not just for my benefit either. I've always said that I couldn't have lost one pound without being accountable to someone else. That's why when I first started I told EVERYONE about it. I figured the more people knew, the harder it would be for me to quit. But what happened along the way was that I brought all of these people along with me on the journey. It made it easier for me. And I couldn't have done it without any of them. I couldn't have done it without any of you either.

So for you to say I've inspired you. I say. Back at you! You guys have inspired me, too. By accountability. By suggestions. By encouragement. By just being there to listen to me whine. You've inspired me to stick with it.

A woman I work with reminded me of how inspired I was watching the biggest loser and suggested that maybe there's another show out there like that one that's on now that could help inspire me. I think she's right. I was so psyched watching the biggest loser and seeing those nuts lose 5-25 pounds a week pouring their heart and soul into the exercise and diet and overcoming their life-long obesity. I was totally inspired. As a matter of fact, I still have Ali Vincent's (winner of last season) picture on the outside of my cube at work. I rarely even look at her picture any more when she was such an inspiration to me.

But I don't think I need a show anymore when I have you guys. You guys are my new biggest loser show!

So I think I'm back in this, now.

I'm inspired!

I think what I'm trying to say in all of this is that I was looking for some sort of inspiration to keep going to make this whole thing a little easier and all I have to do is look around me and see all of the people who have inspired me along the way.

So here's to you...

Here's to my inspiration...

David
Nicole
Mommy
Dolores
Sarah
Cathy
Cara
Fatina
Jennette
Donna
Carolyn
Wendy
Awilda
Marie
Sean
Amber
Lauri
Jen
Jim
Noreen
Bonnie
Audrey
Ken
Jodi
Karen
Nicole
Betsy
Roni
Shelly
Yoni
Brenda
Felicia
Valerie
Adrienne
Maureen
Leigh
Argina
Annette
Linda
Carmen
Nita
...and I'm sure there are a ton more people who have said that I inspired them over the last year who have in turn inspired me (I just have the world's worst memory so their names aren't coming to me right now).

Thanks everyone!

i need my blues to turn pink...

So, I'm hitting the point in my diet (again) where it's getting very tiresome to be "watching what I eat" and exercising. All I want to do is sit down and eat a big fat juicy hamburger with tons of cheese and mayo with a huge plate of onion rings with a small bucket of ranch dressing. And I'm really hating getting up in the mornings and exercising.

It's just so hard to keep motivated.

I've been doing this for over a year, now. 54 weeks of tracking how many points I can eat and how much exercise I need to do to lose weight week after week. 54 weeks of making sure I don't have too many grams of fat or calories. 54 weeks of... well, you get the picture, right?

I still have 45 more pounds to go and I'm totally dedicated to this. I AM NOT QUITTING! That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm totally motivated to finish all the way. I will do it!

I'm just tired of doing it. It's like I'm stuck playing the same song in the car every morning to work for a year. After a while, you just get tired of hearing the same lyrics and the same tune.

I change my diet up very often to where I'm eating different foods and experimenting with different, more healthier choices. I almost never eat the same thing week after week. So I'm not bored with the food. I'm bored with the process and the fact that it's such a long process.

And I'm finding it extremely difficult to get motivated to get up in the mornings and exercise. I'm committed to Weds and Thurs to walk with the girls. We walk for an hour every Wed & Thurs mornings, every week, no matter what. But if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be exercising at all. I say it's because I've had so much going on in my life that I'm just too tired to get up early to go running, but I proved that that is not the case yesterday morning. I had a full three-day-weekend of rest and relaxation. I went to bed before 11pm Monday night. Yet when I woke up at 6am Tuesday morning, I couldn't get my lazy butt out of bed. I felt rested and rejuvenated. But for the life of me I couldn't get up out of bed.

I've got to get re-motivated. I've got to find a way to dig my heals in and continue with a better attitude. I'm going to continue, no matter what. There's no way I'm quitting. But for my sanity, I need to find a different way to look at this whole thing so I'm not constantly fighting myself through it.

I think it's just a faze I'm going through. I went through something similar last November and December and came out of it with flying colors. I just didn't think it'd happen again so soon. Back then, I totally fell off of it all. I quit exercising. I was maintaining my weight at best. At least now, I'm still losing and I am still exercising (though just a little bit).

I just need to get excited about it all again.

.

I'm Back...

Hello Everyone!!!

I'm back!!!

So sorry for the long time I've been gone. So much has been going on. I'll bet you thought, well, there goes another blogger come and go!

Not me!

I'm a die-hard blogger... life just got in the way.

Since I've been off-blog, so much has happened and I'm so sorry that I didn't get a chance to blog any of it. I'll try and reconstruct some of it, but my memory always forgets the juicy details so I'm sure it won't be quite the same.

One big thing that happened is that today I hit my 80 pounds!!!

It's been just a little over a year. We started WW on May 12th of last year. So it's been a year and two weeks and I've lost 80 pounds. Can you believe that???!!! I still can't believe it!

I just kept saying over and over today "I can't believe I've lost 80 pounds."

It sounds like so much weight!

My daughter weighed herself this morning and she said she weighs 108 pounds. I've lost almost as much as my daughter weighs!!! WOW!

I've been stuck between 75 pounds and 80 pounds for the last two months. Since the beginning of April.

I have to say that I've really tried to lose it, too. I haven't slacked off or cheated. I haven't been exercising like I wanted to. But I have been exercising some. But this past week, I only walked two mornings and didn't run any and still lost a whole pound. So I don't know if it's really anything I've done or not done to take so long to lose 5 pounds. I think it's just my body taking a break.

Who knows if my body is back from it's break or not but at least I can say I've hit 80 pounds! I'll still keep at it and keep trying. That's the best I can do. I can't get discouraged. I can't give up. I still have 45 more pounds to go to goal. That could realistically take me another year to do. If things go like they did these past two months, it might even be a year and a half or two years before I can get down to goal.

But I will not give up. I will not falter. I'm in this for the long haul. I will hit goal. And once I hit it, I will stay at goal. For the rest of my life!

Well, I'm back and I'll be back tomorrow to blog again. I'm so glad to be back. I really missed blogging. I miss the interaction and the accountability. I miss reading all of your stories.

Now I have to get caught up on your lives.

a day in the life...

Sorry I've been away for a few days. I've taken on some freelance work that's kept me busy in the evenings. But I had something real exciting happen last night. I took my first cake decorating class!

Okay, the first thing you're thinking is, 'wait a minute, isn't this girl on a diet?'. 'How can she bake and decorate cakes and stay on her diet?'

Well, I'll tell you... I have a new found passion for baking. So much so that I want to start doing it more and more to maybe even pick up some side jobs on the evenings or weekends to make a little bit of extra money. Or if I can't get paid for it, I'll still want to do it. But if I'm going to do it, I want to make sure I do it right. So this is my first step down a long journey to becoming a great cake and cupcake baker!

But that's a whole different blog that I'll start one of these days.

Until then, I'm taking it one cake at a time and one batch of cupcakes at a time. And so far it hasn't really been all that bad. I haven't wanted to indulge at all. I even walked into a cupcake bakery the other day (to talk to the owner) and when i was accosted with the overwhelming smell of butter cream icing, it didn't make me one to eat it at all. Not one little bit. I was just so excited to look at all the different creations that the thought never crossed my mind to actually eat any of it.

But other than the cupcakes and cake decorating, life has been very hectic and I'm so tired. I've been trying to keep up with my exercise, though. I walked yesterday and today and then tomorrow I'm going to do more of the c25k thing. I'm still aiming for being able to run (or rather jog) a 5k by summer solstice to make it through Carolyn's challenge. I haven't ran since the middle of last week, but I'm not stopping. I'm back on the wagon tomorrow.

It's funny, I was reading Jennette's new book "Half Assed" and a funny thing she said was about how she was "back on the wagon" (talking about back at trying to lose weight again) was how in 100 years from now when we no longer even use cars to get around in, I'm sure we'll still be saying something about getting back on the wagon or falling off the wagon. No one even gets around in wagons any more but we still use that phrase. I thought that was funny.

My diet is still going strong. I'm steadily losing this week. Whew! Not much, but at least it's going down rather than going up and up like it did the last couple of weeks.

I'm even thinking about starting an online 'walk across America' challenge. If I can find a good one. Does anybody know of a good one? I've found a couple online where you sign up for it and then log your steps and it keeps track of your progress and shows how far you've walked (across town, across the city, across the state and across the country). It draws a walking line across country as you progress through more steps. I got the idea from Yoni's post about the Walk Across Canada challenge. Sounds like a great way to stay motivated to walk for a very long time.

On another, slightly different, subject, I've been craving Mexican food lately. It's like all I can think about. About the only thing I can find that's low-fat and semi-good for me it bean burritos. I found some fat free flour tortillas and I'll fill them with maybe some ground chicken (with taco seasoning) or fat free refried beans (or maybe both) with reduced fat sour cream and 2% skim milk sharp cheddar cheese. Oh and of course fresh onions, tomatoes and salsa. But there's got to be other "good for you" Mexican food out there isn't there? The only things I can think of are loaded with cheese or guacamole or deep fried. There's got to be healthy Mexican food out there somewhere!!!

the ups and downs of weight loss...

Well, I don't know how it happened but somehow I dropped 2.5 pounds in ONE day, yesterday. I don't know what's up with that. I ate normal food, high fiber, high protein, low fat, low sugar, high dairy, etc., like I always do. I was up, like I mentioned before, a few pounds throughout the week. I had gained 8/10 of a pound last Sat and on top of that, I was up, at one point this past week, 8 pounds. Holy Cow!! But each day a pound would come off and then yesterday 2.5 pounds came off. Was really weird because I didn't do anything to bring on the huge weight gain. Okay, I splurged last Sunday night and had Outback's creamy onion soup and cheese cake for dessert. But I've cheated much worse than that before and never gained 8 frikin' pounds!

But it all came off and then 8/10's more. At WI today, I was down 8/10 from last week. So now the last two weeks are a wash. I gained 8/10 last week and lost 8/10 this week. Don't you hate that. It's like I sacrificed my butt off for two whole weeks for nothing.

I'm 1.8 pounds away from a total loss of 80 lbs. Would be nice if I could drop 1.8 this week and hit my 80 pound goal for next WI because next week will be the "official" anniversary date for me doing this for one full year without missing one WW meeting. Perfect attendance!

I say "official" because today I filled up my 2nd WI booklet and there are 26 weeks in each booklet so two booklets would be 52 weeks--which is one year. BUT we started WW on May 12th of 2007. Next Sat will be the 10th, so that's closer to the "official" one year anniversary.

All that aside, what's the exciting part isn't that I've been doing this for a year, but that I haven't missed one week at WW. That's a feat in, and of, itself, you know.

Oh, and I didn't exercise very much at all this week. I only did the c25k thing once. I didn't get to walk with the girls, either. Starting next week, though, we're going to the gym to start weight training. I'll do the cardio in the mornings, still doing the c25k and walking, but then start the weight training in the evenings. Trying to step it up a notch for Carolyn's challenge, you know.

I have to say one thing I'm proud of that I did (or rather didn't do) this week. I think I've mentioned on here before that I bake a treat for the editors of my magazine on proof day, which is once a month when they all pile into one room and pour over the magazine to make sure it's proofed perfectly. It's very grueling. So I like to bake them a treat to eat while they're in there all day. So this past Thursday was proof day and I made a family recipe, which my grandmother passed down to me, called Hot Milk Cake. I'm not sure of it's origins but she used to make it for us when we were kids. It's kind of like a pound cake but extremely moist and buttery. I made it in a bundt pan and frosted it with a sweet lemon glaze (my own addition). Okay, here's the best part... I didn't eat one piece of it. Yes, that was hard. I haven't had that since she was a live. Since I was a kid, actually. And I sure wanted to have a piece. But I refrained! Proud of myself! Maybe next time I make it I can indulge and have a piece. I probably could have had a piece and it wouldn't have effected my WI at all, but I didn't want to risk it. I was already up a few pounds, you know.

Not much planned for this weekend. I think some house cleaning, wash the cars and maybe go see the new movie Iron Man.

How about you guys? You got anything good going on this weekend?

traffic court and hot dogs...

Today was a little busier at work. Tomorrow is proof day for the magazine and so I had a ton of pages to finalize so the editors can proof them tomorrow. Of course, everything comes in last minute so I feel like I'm way behind. Will have to go in early tomorrow to get a jump on things to make sure everything stays on schedule.

'Nuff about work... I'm still up a few pounds from last Sat's WI. Not exactly sure why, I'm just going with the punches right now. Last Sat I was up 8/10 of a pound from the previous Sat. Now, I'm up about 4 more pounds. And it doesn't seem to be dropping off like it does sometimes during the week.

Deep breath... These things happen... All is not lost... (she says calmly while biting her fingernails to the nubs)

I didn't get to walk with the girls this morning. Last night, late, my daughter tells me that she has to drive downtown to traffic court (long story, short... to get some points taken off her license). Of course, I'm not letting her drive all the way down there by herself. It's a half hour away and she's only been driving solo for about 3 months. So I find out that they open at 7:30 so we decide to go down there when they open, hoping that by some miracle from heaven, I'll be able to make it to work on time (at 8:30). Well, that didn't happen. Apparently, the court house must of taken a few lessons from the airports and they screen everyone before you can enter the building. We walk through the massive stone and iron front doors only to fine like 100 people standing in a turn-style, rope-lined, assembly line waiting to be scanned and pillaged by the security team. What an ordeal!

It ends up I was only a half hour late to work today. Not bad, actually. I thought I'd be hours late.

Glad that's over with. Now, instead of my auto insurance quadrupling, it'll only triple come renewal time. Ugh!

Oh, and the orange pineapple pie I made was AWESOME! Man, it might be even better than the strawberry pie (if that's even possible).

I have a question for you guys... how do you like your hot dogs? My mother and I were discussing how we like our hot dogs and it occurred to me that there are probably a million different ways to have them topped and most of the different ways are regional. How do you like your hot dog?

inspiration...

Quite a boring day today at work. I didn't exercise this morning. I took the day off from exercising. I really wanted to jog some more, but I don't want to push it. I'm only supposed to do it 3 times a week anyway. I've stayed on points, so far, today. I'm getting in plenty of fiber, protein and dairy.

I had Flax Flakes with ff milk for breakfast with a yummy 6 Weeks Muffin with a little Land O Lakes light butter. Plenty of fiber and dairy there. For lunch I had a chicken breast with broccoli and a salad with oil & vinegar dressing. And for dinner was a WW frozen dinner (Orange Sesame Chicken with rice) and some sweet corn. For dessert, I'm having a yummy Orange Pineapple pie I made last night. I used the same Strawberry Pie recipe I got from my mom but used fresh pineapple and orange Jello instead of strawberry. Can't wait to try it!

I ran into an old WW buddy today at lunch. She was such an inspiration for me when I first started. She hasn't been to a meeting in almost 6 months, now. She's gained a little back, but I didn't want to be rude and ask her how much. She kept saying how great I looked. The last time she was at a meeting, I was 50 lbs heavier. It was sad, though, because I don't know if she knew how much she really helped motivate me in the beginning. I tried to tell her but I think she was so down on herself for falling away that she didn't want to hear it. She would lose anywhere from 3-7 or 8 pounds a week when she was on-plan. Which was WAY too much! But our leader kept telling her she was doing okay (ugh!). I really don't think she was doing okay. Every once in a while it's okay to kick it in the pants and lose an extra 4 or 5 pounds in a week. But not on a regular basis. It's no wonder she fell away. She was probably burnt out on it all from the extreme dieting she was obviously doing. But all that aside, she was still an inspiration to me.

It's funny how you can be an inspiration for somebody and never know it. Once you find out about it (if you do) you feel flattered and get the warm-fuzzy feeling inside like your life is actually for a reason on this planet, you know? Has that ever happened to you?

I'm walking with the girls in the morning. The four of us haven't been 4-strong in over two weeks. One of us will keep pooping out for one reason or another at different times. Most times it'll end up being just 2 of us or maybe 3. And one of us is sick right now so we'll only be 3-strong in the morning. I know, sick, you can't help. They help keep me motivated, though. I wouldn't be exercising at all if it weren't for being accountable to them two days a week. Sort of inspired me to do more exercise on the off-walk days.

5K here I come...

I did it!

I did all 8 sets of my first week of interval training on the c25k regiment.

I'm so excited. I can actually jog now. I was so afraid of it. Afraid I was going to die if I jogged. I would have a panic attack as soon as I'd start running.

Not anymore. I have overcome yet another fear in this weight loss battle.

I feel great, too! I jogged for 60 seconds then walked for 90 seconds and did that 8 times in a row. I feel like I could conquer the world right now!

(Now, if I can just keep my eating in check!)

Has anyone else ever done this c25k thing?

Hey, Donna, how's the c25k thing going for you?