Saturday, May 31, 2008

i'm losin' it!

I'm totally motivated again!

I lost 2 pounds this past week!!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!

How did I do it? Very smart choices.

Yes, I did cheat a little last weekend. Okay, alot. It was a holiday weekend and I fully took advantage of it. I had a 10 oz ribeye and cheese fries and cheese cake all in one sitting. The next day, I had cheese stuffed, Marsala chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and a Tiramisu for dessert. I can't even imaging how many points it was. It all fit into my lack of motivation and funk that I was in. But then on Tuesday I was hard core back to exactly what I should eat.

My new favorite lunch is a LARGE bowl of mixed fruit (like strawberries, watermelon, grapes, pineapple, honey dew, cantaloupe, etc.) and about a half cup of diced 2% block cheese. It's totally satisfying, great nutrition (loads of water, fiber, dairy and protein). So I had that maybe 4 or 5 times this past week.

For my dinners, I hate very sensible. Chicken and veggies. Or lean beef and veggies.

I had almost no sugar or artificial sweetener.

Yesterday morning, I had some Protein Pancakes that a friend at work made and brought in. The ingredients sound absolutely gross, but they are the BEST pancakes you'll ever have and they're LOADED with protein, whole grains, fiber, and dairy. Here are the ingredients, you should try them: 1 cup egg whites, 1 cup cottage cheese, splenda to taste (or turbanado sugar to taste), 1/2 tsp salt, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 1 cup oatmeal. You put it all in a blender and mix until well blended then fold in blueberries (which are SO good for you). I don't need syrup because the taste is so yummy, but you could top them sugar free syrup or honey or a little powdered sugar.

I have to say I was a little ticked a my WW meeting this morning. A lady was talking about how she splurged a little when her husband ordered her a margarita after dinner last night and when she got home, her neighbor had given her some desserts that she totally indulged in and felt so guilty. You know what the leader said?? He gave her an "Asserting" flyer so she could learn how to tell her husband and neighbors no next time. WHAT???!!! Okay, maybe that can help on some level, but don't you think we all know how to say no? That didn't address the real issue. What she needed to learn was why she was unable to resist those sweets that her neighbor gave her.

The main problem is the sugar. The leader touched on it by saying that alcohol is high in sugar and thus high in points. Okay. But what next? Why is sugar bad? That's what she needed to hear. If she doesn't learn why sugar is bad, she'll keep indulging and sabotaging herself time and time again.

Our bodies need sugar. Our brain needs sugar to function. Without a certain level of sugar we will start getting tired and sleepy all the time because our brains will start shutting down.

But on the other hand, too much sugar will send our body into a panic. And you know what it will do when it starts panicking? It'll ask you for more! That's it's natural response to an overload of sugar -- give me more!

Did you know that the USDA recommends 40 grams of sugar a day, for a 2,000 calorie a day diet? And did you know that WW's yogurt, which is only 2 points, has 26 grams of sugar??!! That's 65% of your daily allowance. And that's IF you're on a 2,000 calorie diet, mine is probably only 1,000-1,200. I think this says it all right there. WW isn't concerned with things like this. They only care about calories, fat and fiber. At any cost.

So when she had the margarita, depending on where she ate it, she could have had up to 26 grams of sugar. This might have been her daily allowance all in one swallow, on top of whatever sugar she'd already consumed in the day and in the meal she just ate. Her body was swimming with sugar and screaming at her for more. So no wonder she when home and ate everything sweet in sight.

If she knew this, she's know how to resist sugars like this altogether. More importantly, she'd know why sugar is bad and it's effect on her body.

That's what my goal has been for the past 6-8 months is to find out why some foods are bad for you so I'll know their effects on my body so I won't just deprive myself, but I'll actually be saving my body and prolonging my health and in the short run lose the weight I need to lose.

So strike one for WW.

I'm still going to go, though, just because of the accountability. I'm sure at some point, I'll stop going to the meetings just because I know I'll hit my limit of BS at some point and just won't be able to take it any more. But I'll still WI every Sat morning until I hit my goal.

Oh, yea, and by the way, before I started on WW, I had already lost 10 pounds on NutriSystems. So when I say I've lost 80 pounds, it should really be 90 pounds. I keep forgetting that first 10 pounds. Well, actually, it'd be 82/92 pounds because of the two I lost this week.

Sorry for the long posts, I'm just so excited to be back.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

inspiration is a two way street...

Well, I'm feeling a little better about the scope of what I've gotten myself into. I have to say that I was very humbled by your comments to my last blog. You know, I'd found motivation before when I heard people at work tell me that they were amazed at my transformation or how great I was looking but I found even more motivation from the people who would tell me that I had inspired them. Little ole me. Not much of much. Inspiring anyone??? That was hard for me to believe, but they kept saying it time after time. It might have been that I inspired them to become more active or to stop eating sweets or to lose that extra 10 pounds they'd been saddle with for years or to make it back to the gym on a regular basis or whatever. It was nice to hear that my hard work was paying off in other people's lives too.

Then when I read your comments from my last post, and you said how I had inspired you guys. I was amazed. For me, 80 pounds is a huge accomplishment and also a small one. Sitting here 80 pounds thinner I can see where it's taken me a very long time and a very difficult journey to get here. But in the same token, I sit here 80 pounds thinner saying to myself that it wasn't all that hard and doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

But wait!

It's a huge deal!!!

I think my main thing is that I'd become complaisant with my weight loss. I'd forgotten the struggles and pain that I'd gone through over the last year. I'd gotten bored with this whole weight loss thing and had somehow forgotten all of the sacrifice and heart aches along the way.

It all is for something, you know. And not just for my benefit either. I've always said that I couldn't have lost one pound without being accountable to someone else. That's why when I first started I told EVERYONE about it. I figured the more people knew, the harder it would be for me to quit. But what happened along the way was that I brought all of these people along with me on the journey. It made it easier for me. And I couldn't have done it without any of them. I couldn't have done it without any of you either.

So for you to say I've inspired you. I say. Back at you! You guys have inspired me, too. By accountability. By suggestions. By encouragement. By just being there to listen to me whine. You've inspired me to stick with it.

A woman I work with reminded me of how inspired I was watching the biggest loser and suggested that maybe there's another show out there like that one that's on now that could help inspire me. I think she's right. I was so psyched watching the biggest loser and seeing those nuts lose 5-25 pounds a week pouring their heart and soul into the exercise and diet and overcoming their life-long obesity. I was totally inspired. As a matter of fact, I still have Ali Vincent's (winner of last season) picture on the outside of my cube at work. I rarely even look at her picture any more when she was such an inspiration to me.

But I don't think I need a show anymore when I have you guys. You guys are my new biggest loser show!

So I think I'm back in this, now.

I'm inspired!

I think what I'm trying to say in all of this is that I was looking for some sort of inspiration to keep going to make this whole thing a little easier and all I have to do is look around me and see all of the people who have inspired me along the way.

So here's to you...

Here's to my inspiration...

...and I'm sure there are a ton more people who have said that I inspired them over the last year who have in turn inspired me (I just have the world's worst memory so their names aren't coming to me right now).

Thanks everyone!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

i need my blues to turn pink...

So, I'm hitting the point in my diet (again) where it's getting very tiresome to be "watching what I eat" and exercising. All I want to do is sit down and eat a big fat juicy hamburger with tons of cheese and mayo with a huge plate of onion rings with a small bucket of ranch dressing. And I'm really hating getting up in the mornings and exercising.

It's just so hard to keep motivated.

I've been doing this for over a year, now. 54 weeks of tracking how many points I can eat and how much exercise I need to do to lose weight week after week. 54 weeks of making sure I don't have too many grams of fat or calories. 54 weeks of... well, you get the picture, right?

I still have 45 more pounds to go and I'm totally dedicated to this. I AM NOT QUITTING! That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm totally motivated to finish all the way. I will do it!

I'm just tired of doing it. It's like I'm stuck playing the same song in the car every morning to work for a year. After a while, you just get tired of hearing the same lyrics and the same tune.

I change my diet up very often to where I'm eating different foods and experimenting with different, more healthier choices. I almost never eat the same thing week after week. So I'm not bored with the food. I'm bored with the process and the fact that it's such a long process.

And I'm finding it extremely difficult to get motivated to get up in the mornings and exercise. I'm committed to Weds and Thurs to walk with the girls. We walk for an hour every Wed & Thurs mornings, every week, no matter what. But if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be exercising at all. I say it's because I've had so much going on in my life that I'm just too tired to get up early to go running, but I proved that that is not the case yesterday morning. I had a full three-day-weekend of rest and relaxation. I went to bed before 11pm Monday night. Yet when I woke up at 6am Tuesday morning, I couldn't get my lazy butt out of bed. I felt rested and rejuvenated. But for the life of me I couldn't get up out of bed.

I've got to get re-motivated. I've got to find a way to dig my heals in and continue with a better attitude. I'm going to continue, no matter what. There's no way I'm quitting. But for my sanity, I need to find a different way to look at this whole thing so I'm not constantly fighting myself through it.

I think it's just a faze I'm going through. I went through something similar last November and December and came out of it with flying colors. I just didn't think it'd happen again so soon. Back then, I totally fell off of it all. I quit exercising. I was maintaining my weight at best. At least now, I'm still losing and I am still exercising (though just a little bit).

I just need to get excited about it all again.


Saturday, May 24, 2008

I'm Back...

Hello Everyone!!!

I'm back!!!

So sorry for the long time I've been gone. So much has been going on. I'll bet you thought, well, there goes another blogger come and go!

Not me!

I'm a die-hard blogger... life just got in the way.

Since I've been off-blog, so much has happened and I'm so sorry that I didn't get a chance to blog any of it. I'll try and reconstruct some of it, but my memory always forgets the juicy details so I'm sure it won't be quite the same.

One big thing that happened is that today I hit my 80 pounds!!!

It's been just a little over a year. We started WW on May 12th of last year. So it's been a year and two weeks and I've lost 80 pounds. Can you believe that???!!! I still can't believe it!

I just kept saying over and over today "I can't believe I've lost 80 pounds."

It sounds like so much weight!

My daughter weighed herself this morning and she said she weighs 108 pounds. I've lost almost as much as my daughter weighs!!! WOW!

I've been stuck between 75 pounds and 80 pounds for the last two months. Since the beginning of April.

I have to say that I've really tried to lose it, too. I haven't slacked off or cheated. I haven't been exercising like I wanted to. But I have been exercising some. But this past week, I only walked two mornings and didn't run any and still lost a whole pound. So I don't know if it's really anything I've done or not done to take so long to lose 5 pounds. I think it's just my body taking a break.

Who knows if my body is back from it's break or not but at least I can say I've hit 80 pounds! I'll still keep at it and keep trying. That's the best I can do. I can't get discouraged. I can't give up. I still have 45 more pounds to go to goal. That could realistically take me another year to do. If things go like they did these past two months, it might even be a year and a half or two years before I can get down to goal.

But I will not give up. I will not falter. I'm in this for the long haul. I will hit goal. And once I hit it, I will stay at goal. For the rest of my life!

Well, I'm back and I'll be back tomorrow to blog again. I'm so glad to be back. I really missed blogging. I miss the interaction and the accountability. I miss reading all of your stories.

Now I have to get caught up on your lives.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

a day in the life...

Sorry I've been away for a few days. I've taken on some freelance work that's kept me busy in the evenings. But I had something real exciting happen last night. I took my first cake decorating class!

Okay, the first thing you're thinking is, 'wait a minute, isn't this girl on a diet?'. 'How can she bake and decorate cakes and stay on her diet?'

Well, I'll tell you... I have a new found passion for baking. So much so that I want to start doing it more and more to maybe even pick up some side jobs on the evenings or weekends to make a little bit of extra money. Or if I can't get paid for it, I'll still want to do it. But if I'm going to do it, I want to make sure I do it right. So this is my first step down a long journey to becoming a great cake and cupcake baker!

But that's a whole different blog that I'll start one of these days.

Until then, I'm taking it one cake at a time and one batch of cupcakes at a time. And so far it hasn't really been all that bad. I haven't wanted to indulge at all. I even walked into a cupcake bakery the other day (to talk to the owner) and when i was accosted with the overwhelming smell of butter cream icing, it didn't make me one to eat it at all. Not one little bit. I was just so excited to look at all the different creations that the thought never crossed my mind to actually eat any of it.

But other than the cupcakes and cake decorating, life has been very hectic and I'm so tired. I've been trying to keep up with my exercise, though. I walked yesterday and today and then tomorrow I'm going to do more of the c25k thing. I'm still aiming for being able to run (or rather jog) a 5k by summer solstice to make it through Carolyn's challenge. I haven't ran since the middle of last week, but I'm not stopping. I'm back on the wagon tomorrow.

It's funny, I was reading Jennette's new book "Half Assed" and a funny thing she said was about how she was "back on the wagon" (talking about back at trying to lose weight again) was how in 100 years from now when we no longer even use cars to get around in, I'm sure we'll still be saying something about getting back on the wagon or falling off the wagon. No one even gets around in wagons any more but we still use that phrase. I thought that was funny.

My diet is still going strong. I'm steadily losing this week. Whew! Not much, but at least it's going down rather than going up and up like it did the last couple of weeks.

I'm even thinking about starting an online 'walk across America' challenge. If I can find a good one. Does anybody know of a good one? I've found a couple online where you sign up for it and then log your steps and it keeps track of your progress and shows how far you've walked (across town, across the city, across the state and across the country). It draws a walking line across country as you progress through more steps. I got the idea from Yoni's post about the Walk Across Canada challenge. Sounds like a great way to stay motivated to walk for a very long time.

On another, slightly different, subject, I've been craving Mexican food lately. It's like all I can think about. About the only thing I can find that's low-fat and semi-good for me it bean burritos. I found some fat free flour tortillas and I'll fill them with maybe some ground chicken (with taco seasoning) or fat free refried beans (or maybe both) with reduced fat sour cream and 2% skim milk sharp cheddar cheese. Oh and of course fresh onions, tomatoes and salsa. But there's got to be other "good for you" Mexican food out there isn't there? The only things I can think of are loaded with cheese or guacamole or deep fried. There's got to be healthy Mexican food out there somewhere!!!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

the ups and downs of weight loss...

Well, I don't know how it happened but somehow I dropped 2.5 pounds in ONE day, yesterday. I don't know what's up with that. I ate normal food, high fiber, high protein, low fat, low sugar, high dairy, etc., like I always do. I was up, like I mentioned before, a few pounds throughout the week. I had gained 8/10 of a pound last Sat and on top of that, I was up, at one point this past week, 8 pounds. Holy Cow!! But each day a pound would come off and then yesterday 2.5 pounds came off. Was really weird because I didn't do anything to bring on the huge weight gain. Okay, I splurged last Sunday night and had Outback's creamy onion soup and cheese cake for dessert. But I've cheated much worse than that before and never gained 8 frikin' pounds!

But it all came off and then 8/10's more. At WI today, I was down 8/10 from last week. So now the last two weeks are a wash. I gained 8/10 last week and lost 8/10 this week. Don't you hate that. It's like I sacrificed my butt off for two whole weeks for nothing.

I'm 1.8 pounds away from a total loss of 80 lbs. Would be nice if I could drop 1.8 this week and hit my 80 pound goal for next WI because next week will be the "official" anniversary date for me doing this for one full year without missing one WW meeting. Perfect attendance!

I say "official" because today I filled up my 2nd WI booklet and there are 26 weeks in each booklet so two booklets would be 52 weeks--which is one year. BUT we started WW on May 12th of 2007. Next Sat will be the 10th, so that's closer to the "official" one year anniversary.

All that aside, what's the exciting part isn't that I've been doing this for a year, but that I haven't missed one week at WW. That's a feat in, and of, itself, you know.

Oh, and I didn't exercise very much at all this week. I only did the c25k thing once. I didn't get to walk with the girls, either. Starting next week, though, we're going to the gym to start weight training. I'll do the cardio in the mornings, still doing the c25k and walking, but then start the weight training in the evenings. Trying to step it up a notch for Carolyn's challenge, you know.

I have to say one thing I'm proud of that I did (or rather didn't do) this week. I think I've mentioned on here before that I bake a treat for the editors of my magazine on proof day, which is once a month when they all pile into one room and pour over the magazine to make sure it's proofed perfectly. It's very grueling. So I like to bake them a treat to eat while they're in there all day. So this past Thursday was proof day and I made a family recipe, which my grandmother passed down to me, called Hot Milk Cake. I'm not sure of it's origins but she used to make it for us when we were kids. It's kind of like a pound cake but extremely moist and buttery. I made it in a bundt pan and frosted it with a sweet lemon glaze (my own addition). Okay, here's the best part... I didn't eat one piece of it. Yes, that was hard. I haven't had that since she was a live. Since I was a kid, actually. And I sure wanted to have a piece. But I refrained! Proud of myself! Maybe next time I make it I can indulge and have a piece. I probably could have had a piece and it wouldn't have effected my WI at all, but I didn't want to risk it. I was already up a few pounds, you know.

Not much planned for this weekend. I think some house cleaning, wash the cars and maybe go see the new movie Iron Man.

How about you guys? You got anything good going on this weekend?