Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Day two and counting...

Day two was just as good as day one.

I stayed on points and exercised at lunch again today. Although, I'm really not crazy about working out at lunch. I don't sweat very much and I exercise right under the fan (on full blast) but I still feel sticky when I sit at my desk in the afternoons. And I'm so afraid I stink and can't smell myself. But I just don't know when I can exercise other than lunch. I can't do it before work at home and it's too dark to do it outside (hopefully when the time changes I'll have more daylight in the mornings). I can't do it at night. Tomorrow, I'm taking a break and not working out at lunch. I'm really sore and I don't want to burn out on it. Let's just hope I have the determination to do it on Thursday at lunch. It'll be hard, but I'm gonna try.

I thought I went over on my points for dinner, but I looked up my food on the WW website and found out it was about half the points I thought it was. So booyah!!

I'm a little nervous, though, because it was spaghetti. I measured out a half cup of pasta (it was Barilla Plus Omega 3 pasta that has extra protein and fiber) and a half a cup of spaghetti sauce. It didn't look like a whole lot on my plate, but I chopped it up and spread it out on the plate (a smaller plate, mind you) to make it look like more than it was. But I looked at the box and jar and I figured the whole thing was around 10 points. But WW said it was 4 points. I compromised and called it 7 points because I really think it should have been more points than a measly 4. Plus, I did workout today and so I have a few activity points to use up. :)

I just hope the small amount of spaghetti sticks in my tummy for the rest of the night.

I found some no sugar added fudge (popsicle) bars (Fudgcicle brand) that are only 1 point for 2 fudge bars!!! And they're SOOOO yummy!!! I don't even notice I'm eating diet ice cream. In case my spaghetti doesn't make it through the night I can have one (or maybe 2) as a treat.

I'm not declaring victory quite yet, though, I'm still taking this one day at a time. I'm still fighting the urge to eat whatever & whenever I want. You're right, Diana, everyone does say it gets easier with time. I've been under that spell for the past 2 years. It still hasn't gotten easier. No, it's gotten harder. I think it was because I was relying on the fact that it would getting easier.

And, Shelley, I'll have to pull out my week one WW books to look up the filling foods. I know I'm going to need variety and most of the filling foods I know of are somewhat high in points.

You know, Mary Fran, I've thought of posting my food intake on my blog and I might do that one day. But for now if I have to go to the computer to log something in, I won't do it. I used to. I've tried all kinds of online food diaries and I've used the WW online points tracker off and on for the past 2 1/2 years and I've even tried Tweeting my food intake, but nothing seems to work for me for very long. I don't know how long the cutesy notebook will last, but it's working for now. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you guys, so much, for all your suggestions and encouragement. I love it! And I need it!


Monday, September 28, 2009

One day at a time...

So far, so good.

Today, I stayed within my points and I did a workout at lunch time.

The thing of it is, I kept thinking about all the things I couldn't eat... all day today. I can't keep doing this. I'm really not trying to be super strict, I'm just eating when I'm hungry. Except I've spent the last 43 years of my life, eating whenever I felt like it, not when my body needed it. This is going to be a tough one to move past.

But I really want to move past it. I just have to find a happy balance in there somewhere.

And 21 points isn't a whole heck of a lot of food! I think I just need to be smart about finding filling foods that are low in points.

I bought a pretty little notebook over the weekend to start tracking my food in. After I've tried for weeks to write down what I eat, I thought it might help if I made it fun. So I found this cute little spiral hard bound notebook with a rubber strap around it to keep it closed. It's blue with tan polka dots. And it's small enough to carry in my purse so I can write down what I eat as I eat it. We'll see how it goes, but I'm really trying to take steps in the right direction.

I just need to not obsess about this, but instead, just try to make it through each day. So this is just one day... on track.

(uh, oh, my tummy is grumbling...)


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Encouragement... Motivation... and You.

Today was a somewhat significant day in my weight loss journey. As you can tell from my last post, things aren't going the greatest for me right now. And I have to say that each and every one of your comments meant alot and really helped me get my head a little closer to being screwed on straight.

But the comment that struck me the most was from my WW leader, Ned. Check it out:
Finding motivation can be a difficult thing. As humans we move toward what we are comfortable with and away from things we are uncomfortable with. ... You just need to put one foot in front of the other and you will be on your way before you know it.

You are an inspiration to all of us in the meeting room every Saturday and you can always turn to our meeting for help whenever you might need it. Maybe it is time the meeting gave something to you this week in whatever form will help you the most. We are here for you no matter what so lean on us to help you get through this tough spell. Keep the faith!

Wasn't that sweet? But it didn't stop there. This morning in the WW meeting, he took a moment to specifically ask if there was anyone who wanted to share any struggles they've been going through lately. This is something I've never heard him do before. I knew he was talking about me. I just didn't feel comfortable airing my "negative" experiences like that. I just felt like I'd be a wet blanket if I started talking about my motivation problems.

But guess what, the topic of the meeting just happened to be goal setting and motivation. Can you believe it?! Exactly what I needed. I don't know if my leader did that on purpose or if it was a wonderful coincidence. He talked about how hard it is to find motivation sometimes and no matter how bad we might want to lose weight, sometimes the motivation just doesn't come. It was like he was talking just to me, although I think he was intentionally not looking at me so I wouldn't feel more uncomfortable.

He talked about how we can lean on each other and the meeting leaders to help us through the hard parts of our weight loss journey and how we're not alone when we can't find the motivation to continue on. He was saying how we're all a family and we all want each other to succeed and that if any of us are struggling for us to lean on each other to make it through.

I tell you, I started tearing up right in the middle of it all. He really spoke to my heart. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

I went up after class and gave him a big hug and told him thanks for helping me get my head back in the game.

Now, I'm not saying that was a miracle cure all, I'm still struggling with finding the motivation to eat right and exercise, but at least now I know I'm not in this alone and I have people who really care about me and want to help me however they can.

I mean you guys too! You guys help me so much by leaving me those encouraging comments. You have no idea how much I pour over every comment you leave. Even if it's a short note just to say you understand or you're proud of me. Every comment you leave inspires me to keep going.

So thanks, Ned. And thanks to you who are reading this blog and encouraging me to continue on. I still have a long way to go. I mean, I've only lost 2.5 pounds this past year and I still have to make it down to 145 as my ultimate goal.

Right now, I can be honest and tell you, I gained almost 10 pounds last week. (I cringed as I typed that.) I didn't want to admit that to anyone. I didn't weigh in this morning (took a no-weigh-in-pass). But I'll face the music next week. I'm not making any huge promises to myself about eating right or exercising. I'm just going to take this one day at a time. One baby step at a time and keep finding encouragement in what I've heard from you guys and keep going.

I'll find the motivation. It'll come. Heck, maybe I've already got it I just don't realize it yet. But I won't give up. I will make it to goal. And I will keep this weight off no matter whether I ever find motivation or not.

Thanks guys! I love you!!!


Thursday, September 24, 2009

Motivation is a dish best served cold...

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I CAN'T find the motivation to want to lose weight.

I'm so disgusted at my size and I absolutely HATE how my fat rolls pooch out over top of my jeans like muffin tops with acne scares. I hate it when I run up the stairs at work and can feel my flab just flabbing away.

But I keep eating.

And not exercising.

Every day.

What is wrong with me??

Why can't I snap out of this??

I thought after I'd come to the reality that I've only lost 2.5 pounds over the past 12 months, that would be the slap in the face I need to get me back on track. I mean, I've never, not for one week, stopped dieting. I still have perfect attendance at Weight Watchers. Sure, I've taken a few no-weigh-in passes this past year, but I've stayed on plan the majority of the time. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I've sacrificed and "gone without" for a whole year and I'm basically back where I started. Why would anyone, in their right mind, do that??

It baffles the mind!!!

But here I sit with a full tummy of cheese coffee cake and still no exercise this week.

When am I ever going to find the motivation to lose weight again?

How am I ever going to find the motivation?

What is wrong with me?????


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Happy Birthday to me! Now get up and do something with it!

Yesterday, I turned 43.

Wow! What a mouthful!

I had a great day, too. It started out wonderful because I lost a pound. A whole pound! I was so excited and SO surprised.

I always weigh myself at home before I go to weight watchers each Saturday morning. Last Saturday morning, I weight 169.0 lbs. Yesterday morning, I weighed 169.0. So I was fully expecting a break even or maybe even a slight gain. So I was thoroughly shocked when Barb said I lost a pound! I squealed!! Couldn't believe it!

I had stuck to my eating plan, for the most part. I sprinkled exercise very lightly throughout the week. So I wasn't expecting anything great. I would be satisfied with a break-even.

My husband has renewed his weight loss efforts which is helping me stay focused on my eating and exercising. Although I know I really need to step up my exercise MUCH more than I'm doing now. I'm convinced if I can just workout regularly, the pounds will just fall off. Or at least the inches will fall off. I'm so tired of carrying all this extra skin and flab around. And I know the only way I'm going to get rid of the flappers is to exercise hard. Not just cardio (but I do need to continue doing that too) but hard, muscle aching exercise. I just need to find the will power to do it on a regular basis rather than sporadically and haphazardly.

Where do I find that will power?

I get it for short spurts at a time, but it never stays for long.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lose For Good!

Weight Watcher's Lose-A-Palooza is a one-day online social networking event taking place only today to help raise awareness for the Lose For Good™ campaign!

For every accepted mention or acknowledgment of “Lose For Good” made today via blogs, Twitter, Facebook and MySpace, Weight Watchers will make an additional donation - up to $25,000 - for just one day of social media activity. This donation is on top of the $1 million Weight Watchers is hoping to donate to Share Our Strength and Action Against Hunger as part of the 2009 Lose For Good campaign!

Here's how to get involved:

  • Tweet #LoseForGood: Share how you are supporting the good with all your Twitter followers. Tweet about the way you’re helping the fight against hunger and be sure to include #LoseForGood.
  • Multiply the good: Follow @sharestrength or @acfusa to fill your Twitter stream with good, and then retweet.
  • That’s right, each #LoseForGood Tweet and follow to @sharestrength and @acfusa today provides $1!

  • If you’re already a fan, just post a “Lose For Good” related comment OR “Like” the updates that they'll post throughout the day.
  • It’s that easy. Join fan pages, comment on our statuses and walls, or simply ‘Like’ updates to our fan pages and you’ll be participating in Lose-a-Palooza and helping fight hunger!
  • Write a blog post about Lose For Good (like this one), including the phrase “Lose For Good” and encourage your readers to get involved by visiting www.LoseForGood.com.
  • Comment on a blog post (like this one) about Lose For Good! Be sure to have your friends show their support by commenting on your post – every comment relating to “Lose For Good” helps Weight Watchers donate $1!
  • In the new Weight Watchers Community, write a blog post about Lose for Good and they’ll make a contribution to the fight against hunger. Remember to use the words “Lose for Good!”
So let's go people! Spread the word!!!


Monday, September 14, 2009

Progress is sometimes a kick in the pants...

Okay, first things first... I lost 1.6 pounds last week!!! YAY!!!! That's 2 weeks in a row, now, that I've lost weight! I'm so excited!!!

I was really aiming to just break even. All week I kept losing a pound then gaining it back then losing it and gaining it. By Friday, the pound had stayed off. Then by Saturday morning, when I weighed in, I'd managed to keep it off plus another 6th of a pound. So YAY!!

I really think that hard workout that I did on Wednesday really helped out (or was it Thursday?). Anyways, I need to do that again this week, but more often. I was going to workout again at lunch today but couldn't. Had an errand to run. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it tomorrow either because my pup has something wrong with one of her ears (she keeps a lop-sided head and keeps shaking her head alot). So I'll take her to the vet tomorrow during lunch, but I hope I can workout on Wednesday and then maybe again on Thursday or Friday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Now onto something a little more depressing. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of the 50 Million Pound Challenge or not, but I signed up for it at the beginning of the year. I haven't really done anything with it, but at the time I signed up I had high hopes of joining a community of people geared to losing weight. I guess that's what I have Weight Watcher's for, so that's probably why I never really got into it that much. Anyway, they sent me an email the other day reminding me to stop by their website to update my progress. So I clicked the button that went to their website and it asked me to log in. So I did. And the first thing it says is to enter my current weight. So I did. Guess what it did next??

It kicked me in the gut!!

Check it out... this is what it said:

How depressing is that?!?!

I don't even know what to say about that. I really don't want to focus on it too much, but man what a blow! I mean, I lost 1.6 pounds last week and 1 pound the previous week. So sometime between Jan 20th and 3 weeks ago, I lost a whopping 4/10th of a pound.


Keep your mind out of that self-defeating attitude, Cara! You don't need to keep dwelling on your failures! Please help me stay focused on my recent losses and my recent exercise victories (ever how small they both are).


Thursday, September 10, 2009

First time in my life...

I did something today that I've never done in my life...

I exercised on my lunch hour.

I've never figured out how people can exercise their way through lunch time. Me? I usually eat my way through lunch. Where is there time in there to do anything else? But I felt so darn guilty for not exercising this morning that I just HAD to try it.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I have to come home every day for lunch to walk the pups. So that takes up about 10 or 15 minutes. It's about a 5-8 minute ride between work and home so that ate up about a half hour of my lunch hour. So I did a Jillian Michaels' Shred workout that was 28 minutes. Then I fixed a sandwich to take back with me to work.

I actually made it back to work in exactly an hour. Whew!

I really worked out hard, too. I turned the ceiling fan on high and worked out right under it so I wouldn't get too sweaty. I didn't want to take a shower before I headed back. That's another thing that's always stumped me about people who work out at lunch. How do they have time to shower before coming back to work? I just towelled off and deodorant'ed up real good and went flying out the door back to work. I didn't feel gross when I got back to work, either.

Actually, I had worked out so hard, I couldn't make it back up the stairs at work. I work on the 3rd floor. My legs were like rubber. Plus, I was wearing my new 3" heals.

Did I tell you I bought my first pair of high heal shoes in like 20 years? When you're "top heavy" it's hard to walk in high heals. At least it always has been for me. But when I went shopping for a new pair of shoes a few weeks ago, I tried on a pair that was really high. I thought they'd be too high, but when I walked around in them I felt fine. I didn't wobble or anything.

I tell you, though, I feel like a teenager learning how to walk in her first pair of high heal shoes, though. I have to learn how to do this all over again. I feel silly. But great at the same time. What a milestone for me!

Oh, back to the lunch time workout, the next time, I'll fix my sandwich before I leave for work in the morning so I can eat at my desk before I leave to come home for lunch. I didn't run out of energy half way through the workout, but I was afraid I was going to. So next time I won't have to worry about it.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

ONE pound at a time...

First things first... I lost a pound at weigh in on Saturday!



Now if I can just keep that pound off. I'd like to lose another one by Friday, but my goal right now is to just keep that one stinking pound off.

This past weekend was amazing! I had such a relaxing enjoyable time. Just hubby and I, around the house. We haven't had a weekend like that in months. Got some yard work in (burned some extra calories, yay!) and finished unpacking the living room and got all the pictures hung. Now the bedroom still needs to be finished, but that's what next weekend is for, right?

I didn't exercise in the official sense of the word, though. Cleaning, unpacking and gardening was the extent of my movement over the past 4 days. I woke up at 6:30 am on Sunday to go for a 2-hour bike ride. But I couldn't get my lazy butt out of bed.

Then on Monday, I had resolved to doing another Cardio X P90X workout. I set my alarm for 6:00am. I sat up in bed and then got really mad at myself because I wanted to go right back to bed. So I got up and put my workout clothes on and made my way to the living room. But darned if I could make myself work out. I just sat there on the couch arguing with myself. I knew I would just hate myself if I didn't workout. But I could not bring myself to actually doing it.

So there went my chance of working out 3 times this week. Because I know me and I know I'm not gonna want to exercise for 3 days straight.

So my goal, now, is just to exercise ONCE this week!

Tomorrow morning, I will work out!

If I can say that. And say that out loud here. Hopefully it'll help me be able to actually do it.

My food intake has been reasonable. Sure I splurged a little over the weekend, but not too bad. I was able to keep that pound off all weekend. I didn't gain an ounce. That's saying something, you know. Because usually by the end of the weekend I'm up 2 or 3 pounds. But I'm proud to say I held the weight gain at bay.

And I don't know about you, but I can't wait for The Biggest Loser to start next week. Come on!! Can't wait to start the journeys with them.


Friday, September 4, 2009

I did it! I worked out!!!

Just wanted to post a quick one. I promised myself I'd blog every other day. And today is the "other" day. But I don't really have alot of time today to blog.

I wanted to tell you that I did the P90X workout yesterday morning. I'm so happy that I actually did it!! I have to admit, the website looks a little intimidating. But the workout I did wasn't really all that bad. The workout I did was called Cardio X. It's a low-impact workout that combines plyometrics, yoga, kenpo and core. It really uses all muscle groups but it didn't feel like it worked me out too hard. That is, until I woke up this morning and ached in every muscle in my body. I'm sitting her in pain. :)

I burned 800 calories! Not bad! It was a 45 minute workout. I think I'll try doing it 2 or 3 times a week to see if it will help kick start my losing.

Speaking of losing, I've been following the plan all week but still haven't budged much. I actually gained a pound yesterday. Oh well. It'll all work out in the end, I'm sure. I just gotta stay focused on what I'm doing and not the results for now.

I'll try and check in tomorrow to tell you how weigh-in goes in the morning.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

No excuses... I'm gonna do it this time

My days have been going a little better lately. I've been comfortable with the itsy bitsy splurges I've been allowing myself. I don't want to restrict myself too much or I'll be right back where I was for the past month.

Last night we went to TJI Fridays because I had a buy-one-get-one-free entree coupon. I got their Shanghai Salad which was romaine and cabbage shreds with diced red peppers, celery, green onions, peanuts, and cilantro tossed in a barely-there ginger dressing and topped with Chinese noodles and 4 crispy pot stickers. Oh My Gosh was it delightful. It felt so light. And the pot stickers were the perfect accent. It helped me feel like I was eating a hearty meal but I really was just eating a light salad. It was a little on the spicy/zesty side so that was good too. Helped burn a few extra calories from my insides being on fire. :)

I'm really trying to stay focused on how I feel and not so much what I eat but I'm not sure how good it's going. I really need to switch my mentality from "ooo that tastes so good" to "that was so satisfying, and, oh, yea, it tasted good too". It's so hard though. It's like, I know what I need to do, and I know how to do it, but it's just so hard to actually do.

I haven't exercised since Sunday. I have a good excuse, though. Okay, first of all, I have no excuse for Monday morning. I was going to get up early and do a Jillian Michaels Shred workout. I set my alarm for 5:15, woke up, then went right back to bed. Lazy!

But Monday night I got up from the couch to walk into the bedroom and noticed my hip felt a little sore. I thought I just sat on it wrong or something. Then I took a few more steps and the pain stabbed me in the hip. I have no idea what could have happened while I was sitting vegging out on my couch, but it did it to me good. I couldn't sleep Monday night because no matter how I laid, my hip hurt SO bad. Then walking around all day yesterday was not fun at all. I wore flats to work and couldn't take the day off because it's the day before proofs (the day when all the editors pour over all the pages in the magazine go give them one final approval) and had WAY to much to do to get ready for today.

So I hobbled my way through Tuesday and Tuesday night was about the same. I felt like a cripple. Excruciating pain whether I sat still or stood or walked around.

Then this morning I woke up healed.


Yea, weird.

So that's my excuse for not exercising yesterday or today. And I'm sticking to that excuse for all I can use it for. :)

So tomorrow morning I have no excuse. I will commit, right here and right now, to getting up and doing a Shred workout.