Thursday, September 24, 2009

Motivation is a dish best served cold...

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I CAN'T find the motivation to want to lose weight.

I'm so disgusted at my size and I absolutely HATE how my fat rolls pooch out over top of my jeans like muffin tops with acne scares. I hate it when I run up the stairs at work and can feel my flab just flabbing away.

But I keep eating.

And not exercising.

Every day.

What is wrong with me??

Why can't I snap out of this??

I thought after I'd come to the reality that I've only lost 2.5 pounds over the past 12 months, that would be the slap in the face I need to get me back on track. I mean, I've never, not for one week, stopped dieting. I still have perfect attendance at Weight Watchers. Sure, I've taken a few no-weigh-in passes this past year, but I've stayed on plan the majority of the time. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I've sacrificed and "gone without" for a whole year and I'm basically back where I started. Why would anyone, in their right mind, do that??

It baffles the mind!!!

But here I sit with a full tummy of cheese coffee cake and still no exercise this week.

When am I ever going to find the motivation to lose weight again?

How am I ever going to find the motivation?

What is wrong with me?????

.

8 comments:

eilismaura said...

Nothing is wrong with you.

Don't give up -- I know how easy it is to give up even trying as I have spent the last few months doing more gaining than losing at WW.

Take a breathe - try to find new angles to look at what you are doing. There is something you are missing.

Putting yourself down will not help. Be kind to yourself and keep trying.

The Black Kitteh said...

Nothing is wrong with you.... You just need to find your groove back. Maybe you need to change the way you are thinking about this....Take some of the stress off of yourself. Focus on walking 15 min a day, everyday. In no time you will feel like walking longer and then the longer you walk, the more you will want to support the healthy way you have been moving with a healthier way of eating.

Try going at this from a new angle. I know you will be successful, because you have been such a success and inspiration in the past! I always find spicing things up with a new exercise/read/food helps reenergize me! Good luck! You are fabulous ~ I hope you realize that agin soon!

Roxie said...

Nothing is wrong with you. Perhaps you are feeling a bit overwhelmed about doing this "for ever".

Can you break this down into smaller increments? Just do the next "good for you thing"? I've heard that we make 200 food decisions in a day. Just take them one at a time. You can do this. You've proven that. Just ease back into it and don't beat yourself up! That doesn't help at all. Trust me on this. Good luck.

jinxxxygirl said...

Start again like you started in the past. Don't try to pick up where you left off. Maybe thats too over whelming......but go back to the beginning with babysteps. Each day will get a little better, each day you will get a little stronger both mentally and physically.

I know something of where your coming from......... Last Nov i weighed in at 180 this morning i saw 178. I've basically made no progress this last year.But i've learned alot this year. I've come up with a lifestyle i can maintain. And it includes eating well and exercising. Because above all else being healthy is more important to me. I no longer eat fried foods and sweets although i still love i'am in charge of them and they no longer rule me. I'll bet there are alot of positive things that have come out of your year other than weightloss. You need to let the negativity go and just begin again. Trust yourself, believe in yourself and come up with a plan you can honestly live with. Jinx!

The Orange Kitteh said...

Sometimes we just need to look at things a bit differently, and maybe instead of focusing on the big picture, you just need to focus on today. Work on making good choices today...even if they are just little ones and if you do that everyday, then before you know it, a week, month, year will have passed you by, and you will have made good choices each and every day!
Finding a new source of inspiration, a new food, recipe, place to exercise...maybe a new set of workout clothes...all of that can help you get your mojo back.
The good part is, that you WANT to do something to get back into the groove...and that is the first step.
If you need a little boost to maybe help get you motivated, I'd recommend Kim Bensons book and blog. You can find more about it at www.kimbenson.com . She has really helped me though some dark moments.
Good Luck!!

vanessa said...

I just read a few of your posts. It looks like you've come a long way. That's so inspiring! You can do it!!!

SeaShore said...

There's nothing wrong with you. Lots of us have gone through this and may again.

Focusing on the negative (What is wrong with me?????; I absolutely HATE how my fat rolls; I CAN'T find the motivation) isn't doing you any favours. It's stressing you and leaving you discouraged.

Start baby steps and focus on your successes. Choose one thing and try to build some momentum. Jumping back in with a lot of self imposed rules that deep down you don't want to follow means you probably won't follow them.

Maybe change your focus from weight loss to living healthily. Since you need to live a more healthy life for the rest of your life in order to maintain any loss, why not start now to make that your focus, instead of losing? Look at the big picture, instead of getting caught up in pounds and ounces.

At this point I'm not sure if I'm speaking to you, or more to myself! ;)

Lake Mary WWLeader said...

Finding motivation can be a difficult thing. As humans we move toward what we are comfortable with and away from things we are uncomfortable with. Just look at your two pictures on your blog site and you can see how far you have come. Draw strength from what you have accomplished and know that you have all the resources you need to succeed. You just need to put one foot in front of the other and you will be on your way before you know it.
You are an inspiration to all of us in the meeting room every Saturday and you can always turn to our meeting for help whenever you might need it. Maybe it is time the meeting gave something to you this week in whatever form will help you the most. We are here for you no matter what so lean on us to help you get through this tough spell. Keep the faith!