Wednesday, May 28, 2008
i need my blues to turn pink...
So, I'm hitting the point in my diet (again) where it's getting very tiresome to be "watching what I eat" and exercising. All I want to do is sit down and eat a big fat juicy hamburger with tons of cheese and mayo with a huge plate of onion rings with a small bucket of ranch dressing. And I'm really hating getting up in the mornings and exercising.
It's just so hard to keep motivated.
I've been doing this for over a year, now. 54 weeks of tracking how many points I can eat and how much exercise I need to do to lose weight week after week. 54 weeks of making sure I don't have too many grams of fat or calories. 54 weeks of... well, you get the picture, right?
I still have 45 more pounds to go and I'm totally dedicated to this. I AM NOT QUITTING! That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm totally motivated to finish all the way. I will do it!
I'm just tired of doing it. It's like I'm stuck playing the same song in the car every morning to work for a year. After a while, you just get tired of hearing the same lyrics and the same tune.
I change my diet up very often to where I'm eating different foods and experimenting with different, more healthier choices. I almost never eat the same thing week after week. So I'm not bored with the food. I'm bored with the process and the fact that it's such a long process.
And I'm finding it extremely difficult to get motivated to get up in the mornings and exercise. I'm committed to Weds and Thurs to walk with the girls. We walk for an hour every Wed & Thurs mornings, every week, no matter what. But if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be exercising at all. I say it's because I've had so much going on in my life that I'm just too tired to get up early to go running, but I proved that that is not the case yesterday morning. I had a full three-day-weekend of rest and relaxation. I went to bed before 11pm Monday night. Yet when I woke up at 6am Tuesday morning, I couldn't get my lazy butt out of bed. I felt rested and rejuvenated. But for the life of me I couldn't get up out of bed.
I've got to get re-motivated. I've got to find a way to dig my heals in and continue with a better attitude. I'm going to continue, no matter what. There's no way I'm quitting. But for my sanity, I need to find a different way to look at this whole thing so I'm not constantly fighting myself through it.
I think it's just a faze I'm going through. I went through something similar last November and December and came out of it with flying colors. I just didn't think it'd happen again so soon. Back then, I totally fell off of it all. I quit exercising. I was maintaining my weight at best. At least now, I'm still losing and I am still exercising (though just a little bit).
I just need to get excited about it all again.
at 7:19 AM