Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I think I've completely lost my mind...

I did something real weird this morning. I'm almost embarrassed to mention it. I think I'm going to come off sounding very bizarre and maybe even mental.

So, I told myself before I went to bed last night that I was going to get up and go running this morning. So I set my alarm clock for 5:30.

I actually got out of bed about 6:15. Getting up out of that warm, comfy, cozy bed is about the most impossible thing for me to do. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and sat up and said to myself 'I do not want to go running'. But I got out of bed.

I went in and brushed my teeth and as I'm looking in the mirror I say 'I do not want to go running'. I pull my hair back in a pony tail then walk over and start putting on my workout clothes. I stop and look at my sneakers and say 'I do not want to go running'. I put my sneakers on.

I sit back down on the end of the bed. I contemplated just staying right there for the rest of the morning. I thought, who'd know, right? I'd be the only one who knew if I didn't go running, right?

Then I stood up and walked to the kitchen and fixed a bowl of bran flakes with almond milk (quite a good combination for a pre-workout). I sit down on the love seat and eat my cereal while watching the Today Shoe. They're talking about Tiger Woods again. Ugh! I'm so sick to death about hearing about that man's problems. Why don't they just leave him the heck alone!!!???

As I sit there eating my cereal, you guessed it, I said to myself 'I do not want to go running'.

I put my empty bowl in the sink, grab my purse and iPod and head for the door. I tell hubby good bye and grab for the door knob. I say to myself 'I do not want to go running.' I hesitate for just a sec. Hubby asks me what's up and I say 'nothing' and walk out.

I get in the car and drive to the gym. I arrive at the gym and have to park in the back of the lot because they're a bit crowded. I turned the car off and picked up my iPod & cell phone and I look at the cell phone in my hand. It's blinking. That means I have a tweet or an email waiting for me. So I unlock it and look to see who's tweeting me. It was Ali Sweeney (of Biggest Loser and Days of Our Lives). Yea, she's a twitter buddy, though I'm sure she doesn't know me from Adam. But I like reading her tweets. She's fun to follow.

I sit there in the car, after I've read all possible emails and tweets and I start starring at the people on the tread mill. 'Look at them,' I say, 'Sure looks like an awful lot of effort'. I look at this one lady who's younger than me and running faster than the rest of them. I think, 'I wonder if I look like that when I'm running.' But I stay sitting in the car watching the people exercise.

I sat there for about 10 minutes. I couldn't find the will power to get out of the car and go work out. Seriously! I just sat there!

I never got out of the car.

After about 15 minutes, I guess it dawned on me that I was not going running so I turned the car back on and headed back home.

Can you believe that? I went through all that effort to get to the gym but I never got out of the car to actually exercise. Have you ever heard of anything so strange in your life?? I know I haven't!

In fact, if I'd have read one of your blogs that you had done this, I think I'd think that something was a little "off" upstairs.

The thing of it is, I really did want to go running. I went for an 8-mile run on Sunday and thoroughly enjoyed it! I took Monday off because I pushed it a little too hard on Sunday. I was actually looking forward to getting out there again. Maybe it was the gym that was turning me off. I had even thought about going for a run once I got home from "not running" at the gym. I love running on the road SO much better than on a tread mill.

So there it is. I'm weird. I think I'm a little off my rocker. You agree?

Oh, speaking of Twitter. Check this out. I tweeted to Ali Vincent (the 1st female winner of Biggest Loser) about my 100 lb loss and how she inspired me to lose it and look what she tweeted back to me:

Can you believe that? How cook is that. Ali Vincent thinks I'm a rock star!!

Well, I gotta get off here because the Biggest Loser Finale is about to start. I can't wait to see who wins. Would be SO cool if Amanda won!!



Denise Burks said...

Dear Cara,

Maybe your body/mind/spirit was telling you something. Now, if it starts telling you to give up exercise completely and get a job as a donut taster you tell it to, "shut the hell up." (I'm comfortable swearing a little bit with you. I figure if you're a big fan of The Biggest Loser you're ok with a little strong language every now and then.)

You have lost 100 pounds! That is huge! (No pun intended, girlfriend.) You have earned your PhD! In fact, simply writing about this experience is evidence of how connected you are to the process.

In turn 50 next year and I can tell you for a fact that every time that I have been injured while exercising it was because I was mentally off.

I am getting better at listening to my body. This weekend (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) my back and minimus maximus were sore. I spent an hour or so each day, in front of the television, working with a foam roller and miracle balls. This kind of stretching and massaging is enjoyable for me.

Today is Tuesday and I went to the health club and took a water aerobics class and an hour later I attended a Pilates Reformer class. I really try to work hard in each class so I was very hesitant to do both, but the instructors from each class gave me their blessings with the quid pro quo to "listen to my body."

You haven't lost your mind ... you used your mind.

Kudos. Kudos. Kudos.

Denise Burks

Diana said...

I've done the exact same thing...once. Then I made my "rule". I have to walk inside the gym and exercise for five minutes. That's it. If after my five minutes I want to say screw it, can't do it, then I give myself permission to leave. I've never left after five minutes.

How about it you didn't acutally run, but did the ellipitical or the StairMaster? Maybe something different to kind of mix it up.

Anyway, if you're crazy, then so am I. :) And that should be of absolutely no comfort to you at all since I'm a bit crazy.

Shelley said...

I've never not gone in once I'm there, but I HAVE had those same feelings of "I don't wanna do this" the entire time I'm getting dressed and ready for a workout. I agree with Diane - make yourself go inside for five minutes if this happens again.

Good luck tomorrow!

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