Miracle beyond miracles... I lost 3.6 pounds this week!!
I guess you were right, Jess, it came off just as quick as it came on. That almost NEVER happens for me, though. My track record is easy on... near impossible to get off.
Funny thing is, I did pretty much the exact same thing I did week before last as I did last week. Weight loss.... I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.
I think that was why I was so darn frustrated last week. I just can't figure it out. Most of the times, it all seems so nonsensical. I feel like Alice stumbling through Wonderland sometimes. I hear things and see things that seem to make sense and then all of the sudden they change form and I have no idea where I am.
I mean, I think I got this thing pretty well figured out... fruits & veggies, whole grains, lean meats, milk, water, oil, portion control, regular exercise, journaling, and accountability. It's all neatly packaged in my "guidelines to losing weight". But... why does it work some weeks and not other weeks?
I was talking with my daughter about it today and I think I might have discovered my problem. Whenever I have a good day, I have a tendency to loosen the reigns. Whenever I break even or gain, I buckle down and stick to my guns. That's what I used to do with I weighed myself every day. If I was up that morning, I'd be sure to eat only 21 points for that day and exercise so I'd be down or at least the same the next day. Then as soon as I was down, I'd eat "regular" which is not that good. I'm not sure how to break this cycle, though.
I somehow need to get my head into the space where it doesn't matter how much I gain or lose. That no matter what, I need to stick to my points and exercise regiment. I'm really not sure how to do that, though.
I truly appreciate all your comments from my last post. I don't really want to throw in the towel. I really don't. I want to be skinny so bad. It's all I think about most days. I just keep envisioning myself looking like the Biggest Losers at their final weigh in.
Take Helen Phillips, for example. She was 47, I'm 43. She started at 257 lbs, I started at 265. She's 5' 6", I'm 5', 6".
Now, granted, I have no plans of getting down to 117 lbs. That's just ridiculous! But why can't I get down to at least 145 lbs? What's so wrong with that? Why am I STUCK at 165-170??!!
I just keep seeing all those Biggest Losers and how skinny they look and I wonder why I can't be that skinny. People keep telling me, "maybe this is the weight your body wants you to be". But what if it's not the weight I want to be?