Saturday, January 9, 2010

I'm still in the game, but...

Miracle beyond miracles... I lost 3.6 pounds this week!!

Huh??!!

I guess you were right, Jess, it came off just as quick as it came on. That almost NEVER happens for me, though. My track record is easy on... near impossible to get off.

Funny thing is, I did pretty much the exact same thing I did week before last as I did last week. Weight loss.... I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.

I think that was why I was so darn frustrated last week. I just can't figure it out. Most of the times, it all seems so nonsensical. I feel like Alice stumbling through Wonderland sometimes. I hear things and see things that seem to make sense and then all of the sudden they change form and I have no idea where I am.

I mean, I think I got this thing pretty well figured out... fruits & veggies, whole grains, lean meats, milk, water, oil, portion control, regular exercise, journaling, and accountability. It's all neatly packaged in my "guidelines to losing weight". But... why does it work some weeks and not other weeks?

I was talking with my daughter about it today and I think I might have discovered my problem. Whenever I have a good day, I have a tendency to loosen the reigns. Whenever I break even or gain, I buckle down and stick to my guns. That's what I used to do with I weighed myself every day. If I was up that morning, I'd be sure to eat only 21 points for that day and exercise so I'd be down or at least the same the next day. Then as soon as I was down, I'd eat "regular" which is not that good. I'm not sure how to break this cycle, though.

I somehow need to get my head into the space where it doesn't matter how much I gain or lose. That no matter what, I need to stick to my points and exercise regiment. I'm really not sure how to do that, though.

I truly appreciate all your comments from my last post. I don't really want to throw in the towel. I really don't. I want to be skinny so bad. It's all I think about most days. I just keep envisioning myself looking like the Biggest Losers at their final weigh in.

Take Helen Phillips, for example. She was 47, I'm 43. She started at 257 lbs, I started at 265. She's 5' 6", I'm 5', 6".

Now, granted, I have no plans of getting down to 117 lbs. That's just ridiculous! But why can't I get down to at least 145 lbs? What's so wrong with that? Why am I STUCK at 165-170??!!

I just keep seeing all those Biggest Losers and how skinny they look and I wonder why I can't be that skinny. People keep telling me, "maybe this is the weight your body wants you to be". But what if it's not the weight I want to be?

.

12 comments:

screwdestiny said...

You can get down to it if you buckle down and consistently eat right and exercise. But like you said, you don't do that. But if you're willing to put in the work, there should be no problem (as in, you're body's not going to refused to weigh that much) with getting a 5'6" frame down to 145. You can do it, Cara. You just have to really want it.

Dee's Weight Loss Journey said...

I would like to know where you found your cute page. I would like something other then the generic page. Also I would like to know how to link your blog with mine so I can just one click over to see yours.

blueraspberry said...

All the advice when stuck at a place, is the change what you are doing, on the basis that the ol bod has gotten used to doing what you are doing, and needs a kick up the proverbial backside. Some different sort of exercise? Swim dont run, run dont swim, hike if you bike - all that sorta thing. Maybe your body just needs to be kick started again, and whereas I would never advocate anyone change the basics of what is working - or has worked for them, perhaps you need to chop things about a bit within that - for instance, break your meals down into smaller meals, or vicki versi - change the menu's if you are eating what you always ate. Drinking soda? salt? would eating more protein less carbs do it? Make some sort of significant change within your plan, even just for a week, that will trick your body - 'Huh! whats she up to now!' If you have weight to lose, and we know you know how to go about it, there is no reason it shouldn't come off. There is of course the little thing about 'I got this cracked and can afford the odd little thing' -- which is the odd little thing that keeps you where you are. But only you know how honest you are being with yourself. A sales friend of mine, super sales woman, could sell English Pasta to the Italians, said that the trick to being a good saleswoman was to be poor. 'If you need to sell something to eat, you will sell it' and she has a point. If we really want it THAT bad, we will dot any i's and any t's and not let a single pixelated calorie past our lips that is not what should be making it. Telling ourselves we really want it - but letting the gremlins tell us it can wait till tomorrow, is not enough. Intentions are nothing without being followed by action. Are your intentions followed by action?

BR.

BR

jinxxxygirl said...

I think..........and we know whats thats worth.......LOL! That some part of you could be happy at 165 pounds......so i think you've lost your edge. I think the same thing for me. No way could i be happy or satisfied when i was heavier but the weight where i'm at now (170's)I could live with. So maybe your not as 'driven' as you were. And if your comparing to the Biggest Losers from your blog (which is all i have to go by is what you document)I don't think you work out as much as them or anywhere near them and neither do i. But they changed their whole body composition. With all that muscle they have to be calorie burning machines.

Donna B said...

Congrats on the loss! I think after all this time of weight loss for mr I need to let go of why some weeks are better than others when you stay on plan. try focusing on exercise and good eating, results will come! I need to have more faith in myself. Keep up the good work!

Brooke said...

congrats on the loss. i find in my life that the line between contentment and complacency is very thin, which lands me in the same place you are in - not happy with my body, but not doing enough to change things either.

my motivation comes a lot from the scale and as long as that's what drives us, it'll always be a cycle of gain weight, buckle down. lose weight ease up.

Gina said...

Cara, try this...when you go to WW to weigh tell them you don't want to know what the scale says. Start with only getting feedback on a monthly basis rather than a weekly basis. You might even choose not to get the feedback for longer periods of time. Then follow the plan the way you would as if you had gained the week before. Don't let the scale dictate how you will eat. You will know if you are losing by the way your close fit. You will know when your eating plan is making you feel better. Try this for a month or two and see what happens. You won't be able to blog what your weight gain/loss is but you can blog how you are feeling. Just a thought. Press on...

Kelly! said...

I agree with Gina- I tried that once. didn't last long but i tried! It makes you base your success on how you feel rather than the numbers-seriously give it a try! And you shouldn't compare yourself to the biggest losers. They worked out for like 8 hours a day with crazy trainers for months. That's not real life. That's why you hear about them gaining it back sometimes. What you're doing is the realistic way to lose weight. You have done amazing look how far you have come! So it's taking you a little longer to lose the weight, but you will keep it off. That's the key. You are NOT stuck here so get your mindset off of that! Just keep thinking that you feel amazing living a healthy lifestyle and not focus on the scale. Naturally, the pounds will fall.

Miz said...

GREAT JOB ON THE LOSS!!

And Im with screwdestiny entirely.

want it and just make the CHOICE to do it every day.

That is entirely how I am as well. With health. With marriage. With mamahood. With EVERYTHING.
a daily recommitting.

MaryFran said...

You can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to decide if being ultra skinny(like the biggest loser contestents...who go to GREAT lengths to get there...some a little too great)is worth it to you. You have a choice to make. It could be either ultra skinny and eat like a bird ALL the time. Or live a little and maybe not be that ultra skinny girl!

Stephanie said...

Sometimes when people plateau it's a signal to me that they might actually be eating something that's not serving them. We hear that whole grains, veggies, fruits and meats are great for us, but for example, some people really don't digest grains well, and some people bloat from dairy. It's worth playing around anBODA weight lossd eliminating some foods to see if it makes a difference.

spunkysuzi said...

Cara you have an award waiting for you on my blog :)