Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'm not sure where to go from here...

So the last time I blogged, a week and a half ago, things were going pretty good. Don't they always go "good before the fall". I just hate where I am right now.

That weekend that I had that miraculous loss, well, that's when it all fell apart. See, that was the "going away" weekend for my in-laws. I guess we figured we wanted to spend as much time with them as possible before they left town (for a 4 or 5 months) so we went out to dinner on Saturday ... and Sunday ... and Monday ... and Tuesday. And, just in case you're wondering, I did not eat sensible at all ... on either of those 4 days.

By Wednesday morning, I was up 7 pounds.

Yes, that wasn't a typo ... I really gained 7 pounds!

And that's not the bad part. The bad part is that only 2 of those pounds came off by this past Saturday's weigh in.

So the way I understand quick gains like this is that they usually will come off relatively quickly (well most of it anyways) because most of it is just bulk that's left in your system that just has to have time to process through. And as long as you get right back on plan, most of the weight will come off just because of the biology of things

Except, it didn't.

And it still hasn't. I'm still up 5 pounds and my greatest fear--the fear that is taking me to my knees right now--is that those 5 pounds are going to be with me for a while.

Do you remember how long it took me to lose those precious 5 pounds?? Almost a year!!

I simply can NOT go another year and lose those same 5 pounds again! I can't do it! I can't!

Those five pounds were supposed to come off after I got back to my regular plan of eating my points and exercising.

I mean, after all, I just joined the gym (actually, just a few days before the "eating fest"). And since I joined, I've been at the gym EVERY day (seriously). And 4 days a week, I go twice a day.

Here's my exercise schedule:

Every morning:

20 minutes cardio (either the stair climber (55-60 flights) or elliptical or arc trainer) = 2 Activity Points (AP) or 280 calories burned.

45 minutes weight training = 3 AP or 400 calories burned.

Four days a week:

Same thing as above then add a spin class in the evening = 8 AP or 750 calories burned.

So, 3 days a week I burn 680 calories and earn 5 AP and 4 days a week I burn 1430 calories and 13 AP.

Here's my total for each week: I burn 7760 calories and earn 67 AP.

...I think I'm going to the gym too much.

I can't stop, though. I haven't felt this great since ... I can't remember when.

But, why the heck am I not losing weight?!?!?

I swear I have not been cheating. I have been eating on plan, inside my daily points allowance, every day. Even this past Saturday and Sunday. I didn't splurge like I usually do. Not one bit!

My husband and I think it's because I'm gaining muscle. And you know what I have to say about that?! THAT IS THE EXACT REASON WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO START WORKING OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

For 3 1/2 years, now, I've heard how if I start working out, I'll probably gain muscle and because of that I have purposefully NOT worked out. I do not want to gain muscle. I do not want to gain weight. I've been doing just fine without working out for these past 3 years and still been able to lose weight just fine.

I don't know how to justify this, but I do know that I have gained 5 pounds and I do not want to and I am petrified of weighing in on Saturday. I took a "no-weigh-in" pass last week because I didn't want that number permanently in my weight loss log. I think if I see those extra 5 pounds marked permanently in my log I will cry. I just can't do it!


Stephanie said...

CARA~ I have to say I agree with your husband... muscle weight. WHICH IS OK. I know it is more on the scale, I hate that too, but in reality you will look better-- the more toned you get the slimmer you will look. I know it is hard, but I think it is likely the 2 pounds was from food, and the 5 was from muscle. The good news is, once you adjust the muscle will actually help you lose more weight then had you not worked out at all. If I do nothing but workout I drop weight like a hot cake. Hang in there, as long as you stay on plan and keep working out it will come off!

Maggie said...

So we were just talking about this in our WW meeting the other day because there's a bunch of us who seemed to hit a plateau (or gain weight). Turns out, aside from muscle weight (which might be your issue), we weren't eating ENOUGH of our activity points.

Turns out, if you are earning more than 4 activity points a day, you should be eating HALF of them. So, if you earn 8 activity points, then you should be eating 4 of them.

We all started doing that, and hey presto....we started losing again.

Something to think about!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

How frustrating. I wish I had something wise and comforting to say. Try not to let discouragement take over.Don't give up girl... you've done so well and come so far.


screwdestiny said...

So let me just get this straight. You don't want to weight lift, or do anything that will help you gain muscle, because of a number on a scale? You don't want to do something that's going to increase your metabolism, make your body leaner, stronger, smaller, and better shaped? You don't want to do something that's going to help in preventing osteoporosis? Because you're afraid of seeing that number go up a measly five pounds and maybe stay there for a bit. Sorry Cara, but that's just stupid. Learn to deal with it, because what you're doing for your body right now is great whether the scale says so or not.

Gina said...

Cara: These are all Great comments. Muscle isn't a bad thing just because it changes the numbers.

Here is another thought...try skipping weekends off for a month. Stay total strict WW for 30 days straight. Avoid anything with added sugar even if it is within the points allowed. Sometimes it is not just how many calories or points you consume but what kind of calories or points you consume.

Make the sacrifice for just 30 days and I'll bet you have the 5 lbs gone and then some. You won't be doing this for another year.

I'm not an expert but I've been watching what happens in my own life. I still have 35 lbs to go out of 90 total. I have taken more off in the past few months than I have in the past few years.

Good Luck!

David Showers said...

Okay, so this is hubby...

I think all the comments are good, but for "screwdestiny" to call your concerns stupid is a bit harsh. We all have our issues we need to overcome along our journey. The argument could be made that getting overweight in the first place is "stupid" or eating for comfort is "stupid".

We all know the "right" thing to do, but if we all did it, none of us would be here.

Although I don't like the method used, I do agree with what screwdestiny said. You need to concentrate on the overall good things you are doing by exercising and not just the numbers on the scale. Don't let that number be the only way you measure your success. You say you feel better - well that's great. You know that more muscle with increase the amount of calories you will burn each day. I can go on and on.

Think big picture. Think about how you can do 60 minutes of spin class and not even break a sweat. Think about how you can now rollerblade with ease. Think about houw you can now outrun me in the bedroom giving you more time to sleep! (don't worry, I'm getting in shape and will start catching you again pretty soon!)

YOU are an awesome person and I will be at your side all the way. You may be focusing on the wrong things, but you're not stupid.

I love you.

--cara said...

Thanks for all your lovely comments, people. I SO appreciate them. And I know, screwdestiny, as I was typing out what I was saying in my blog, I was feeling stupid. I know I should be WANTING to gain muscle and as a result feel better and lose more. I guess I'm just all caught up in the struggle of it. All I see are those darn numbers on the scale and I don't care WHY or HOW they got there--I just DON'T WANT THEM.

I do feel so much better since I've been working out. And spin class is really a breeze. So much fun!!

I'm so afraid, Maggie, to start eating more food just because I'm working out more. I know how easy it is for me to pack on the pounds just by upping a few more points in each day. But, Gina, maybe I could try something like that--increase my food intake but watch the types of foods I'm eating and make sure there's not alot of sugar or things that might combat my workout efforts. I'll have to give it some thought and make sure the steps I take are in the right direction. Because I know that little steps in the wrong direction (for me) are really big steps in disguise.

You gotta love my husband, don't you. He's so dern supportive. I love him SO much! He's my knight in shimmering armor! <3

KimberlyO said...

Have you had a body fat analysis done lately? Have you taken your measurements recently? I understand the fear of gaining, but gaining muscle is SOOOOOOOO good for you. Maybe it is time to switch to going by your measurements?? As you lose fat and gain muscle, you will be able to measure your body shrinking. Try to compare what one pound of rocks look like next to a pound of feathers. Fat takes up so much more room on the ol' body. Muscle helps you burn more fat, long after you are done exercising. Would your leader let you weigh-in and agree to NOT tell you how much you weigh? Is this something that YOU could do? Maybe this would help to take the emphasis off the scale and more on your accomplishments at shrinking. (Measuring your body and possibly a body fat analysis.) Realistically, I think that the "last 5-10 pounds" AND "maintaining the goal weight" are probably the hardest phases to be in when it comes to losing weight. When we are just starting out, there seems to be so much leeway and our body still loses.

You know what works, you've done it. Now you need to keep doing it. Maybe this is a good lesson for all of us, not just you, that when it comes to eating out, we HAVE to make good choices. I sometimes fall into the "but it's a celebration" mental state when we eat out, but when it's a celebration every night, well, YIKES!

So, as to not knowing where to go from here.... stick with it. You've come so far!!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Hi Cara!
I just presented you with an award. Come pick it up at by blog if you want. :)

Take Charge of Your Shape said...

First off! I would like to commend you for sticking it out this long. You have shown real determination. I just came across your blog, and have to say GREAT Job! I too have lost considerable weight. I lost 65 lbs in 10 weeks. being that men are prone to loosing faster than woman due to muscle mass. I am also on the path to wellnes and Healthy living for a Lifetime. Sometimes it is good to shake the tree alittle to break those plateaus. If you are interested in seeing how I did it you can check out my website

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