Friday, July 1, 2011

I know how to lose weigh, now why can't I stop eating...

I think that should be the name of my first book. People keep telling me I should write a book. Sometimes I feel like I already have... here on my blog.

This week was the first week of a new study at my church on the book I was telling you guys about--Made to Crave by Lisa Terkeurst. It was very interesting. The idea is to turn our focus off of food and onto God.

I SO need to do that! All I can think about lately is food. All day long. In the middle of typing an email, I think of a restaurant we used to go to in Alaska called Sullivans and think about all the wonderful things we'd eat there. Out of the blue. It's been 10 years since we left Alaska. Why would I think about that?

I think about... no, let me rephrase that... I obsess over food every waking hour. And I don't know how to think about anything else.

I try not to, but that only makes me think of it more.

This is not helping my weight loss efforts one little bit.

This is how bad things have gotten. I haven't logged my weight into Weight Watchers online because if my weight is hidden away in a little cardboard weight log and not officially entered into a database, it can't really be all that bad, right?


I finally did it. I logged my weight for the first time since Feb 5th. ... I've gained 9.8 pounds.

On Aug 7th of last year, I weight 158.8---the lowest I'd ever been (in fact, the lowest I'd been since before my 22 year old daughter was born).

Now look at me. My official weigh in last Saturday was 179 lbs. I've gained 20 lbs over these 11 months.


Because I can't stop thinking about food.

I love absolutely everything about it. I love watching cooking shows. I love baking. I love cooking at home. I love going out to eat and trying foods I'd never cook at home. I love going to the grocery store and looking at all the different kinds of food there. I love... well, I really could go on and on and on. But suffice it to say, I think I'm a little obsessed.

So I'm really hoping this class will help me get a hold on things. See, I don't need to learn how to lose weight. Weight Watchers has taught me that. I could probably even be a leader and teach others how to lose weight (who knows, maybe some day I will). But that's not my problem. I know how to lose weight, I just don't know how to stop eating and obsessing over food.

In the class tonight, she quoted a doctor who said that there is definitely a way to lose weight, and if you follow healthy guidelines you'll lose weight. But when it comes to eating and enjoying eating, will power isn't enough. The doctor said will power will only take you so far but it won't help you achieve success. He recommended instead to look to a higher power for assistance.

Well, that's what I'm doing. Or at least I'm attempting to do. I think the basic plan for the book is to replace my thoughts about food with my thoughts about God. The tagline on the front of the book says "Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food".

I have no idea, though, how on earth I'm going to stop thinking about food.

In the class tonight, they broke us up into smaller "discussion" groups. I felt so disconnected from the other ladies at my table. None of them seemed to have the problem I have. They might be bored eaters or emotional eaters or maybe just don't know how to eat right. I felt so weird. Am I really the only one who thinks about food 24/7?


Joan said...

No, you're not the only one who thinks of food 24/7. I had lost 30 pounds on Weight Watchers and in the past year I've put back on 22 of those pounds. I can't seem to get a grip on my self control. I know I'm an emotional eater like the other ladies in your class but I am also trying to fill a hole. I thought God had already filled that hole but maybe I'm not as close to Him as I need to be. Thank you so much for posting this and getting me to thinking about where I really am in my life.

Sharon said...

No, Cara, you are not alone! I've been reading your blog for a long time now and have missed your regular posts. You are such an inspiration to me. I, too lost 60+ pounds and have regained 30 of them. I'm also working through Made To Crave and it's been an eyeopening experience. Unlike you, I don't love to cook, I just love to eat! I eat well usually - I just eat too much! As Lysa says in the book, my mantra has become, "I was made for more." And so are you!

Holly said...

Cara, are not alone. I have often felt so "weird" and so much more out of control than normal people who just might sometimes eat out of boredom. Food has always been my life. Your story is SO much like mine. In fact I just had gotten down to 159lbs and a couple of weeks ago my husband was coming home for a 4 day visit before he left for Afghanistan and I have been eating out of control ever since. I do well when I am on program but when I am off...I eat everything that isn't nailed down(and btw..nothing is nailed down)
I am 37 years old and food has been my downfall forever and I am soo worn out from it. My body is worn out from the yo yoing. My soul is crying out for help always from this. Just the other day I went out to lunch with a friend and I sat there and wished that everyone would disappear so I could eat all the food there. I know God doesn't want us to be this way Cara. I love the Made to Crave book and it really has touched something so deep in me.
I KNOW one day these food thoughts won't be in our lives, and if they are they will quickly be replaced with truths.
((HUGS)) and you are so not alone. I am right there with you.

F. McButter Pants said...

ADDICTION! Require faith in God. Food is the MOTHER of all addictions. Rely on the Lord and you can do it.

Easier said then done! Trust me I know.

hypnosis for losing weight said...

It's so hard not to think about food! But you can overcome this and your cravings if you really want to. Fight off your urge and stay steady on your diet course. You can make it!

Willow said...

You can do it Cara. There is nothing wrong with you. It's the old leptin, hormone, blah,blah blah...thing. It's natural (Not evil.Not your imagination. Not weakness on your part. You aren't crazy.)I have been down this road many times and the only way to control the urge is through faith in God and in your ability to over-ride it. The rough phase will end. You just have to stick it out.

MaryFran said...

NO NO NO, you are not the only one that thinks about food 24-7. You were the brave one at that meeting that just admitted it!

Candi - The Fitness Rookie said...

I think about food a lot too and trying to lose weight or even maintain weight just makes you think about it more I think. I am just getting started on my weight loss again and I just trying to take it one day/one pound at a time. Look at how far you have come. You have lost over 100 pounds! You'll get the 20 pounds back off...just hang in there :)

ginseng supplements said...

Continue with the exercise so you'll be able to burn the fats.

Winning The Weight Battle said...

I think the hardest thing in weight loss is "consistent with the programs that we choose"

Winning The Weight Battle

lose weight said...

it is really difficult to stop thinking about eating, discipline would definitely help suppress the craving, and motivation works as well.

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