I finally upgraded my blog design. I got a hint from SpunkySuzi's blog. I've always enjoy her backgrounds. So I went to the website she told me about and found out just how easy it is to add a different background. So I created my own custom designed background and used their code to get it posted on my blog. I even figured out how to change my font colors and divider lines and everything.
But then I had to do a very sad thing...
I change my ScaleJunkie badge (to the right) from "95 pounds lost" back down to "85 pounds lost". :,,[ sniff sniff
I was so proud of that 95 pound badge! Back in October, I dipped below 95 pounds but I didn't have the heart to change it because I knew I'd be back up above 95 pounds in no time. Well, it took me a month or better to get back above 95 pounds, but I did it. But now, I'm all the way below 90 (87.4 to be exact). So I thought it was time to face the music and switch it out.
It's a depressing time, but I have to be honest with myself and confront my weight gain. I'm the type of person who's always "glass half full". Actually, my glass is always most of the way full, no matter what's going on. But it's time I look at the glass realistically so I can access what's going on in my head and get back to losing.
I thought I was doing good since last Saturday's huge weigh-in debacle of gaining 8.4 pounds in one week! Actually, I was doing good. I was down 3 pounds!
Well, until I weighed myself this morning. I'm back up again. Gained 3 pounds in one day. Ugh!
Cara, what are you doing!??!!
I was so dedicated and determined. I wasn't really sacrificing or depriving myself. I really WANTED to eat healthy and on plan. And I was even exercising and giving it extra effort. Then we got paid yesterday and the flood gates broke loose!
For lunch, I had 9 pieces of sushi (crab, cream cheese and avocado with brown rice) and 7 steamed dumplings. All-in-all, sushi and dumplings are actually healthy for you and low in points. But not when you eat as many as I ate! I ate until I was stuffed! Pegged the Momentum™ hunger scale all the way up to 5+!
Then for dinner, of course we went out, it's pay day! Went to Chili's because of their Guiltless Grill menu. I ordered the grilled salmon with steamed broccoli and black beans. Not a bad selection. According to their menu (which I've been told is NOT entirely accurate) it was a 10 points. I actually was already over by 1.5 points for the day (before I started dinner) but I had to eat, right?
But we ordered chips and salsa before the meal. Why? Who knows. Neither of us were particularly hungry. We could have waited for our meals. But alas, we pigged out on the HUGE bowl of chips and two cups of salsa.
Needless to say, by the end of my meal, I'd pegged the huger meter all the way up past 5 again!
Again, the food I ate wasn't bad for me. But the quantity was HORRIBLE!
Then (and there's always a then), when we got home, I made chocolate pretzels (dark chocolate kiss melted between two Snyder's Butter Snaps). And I think I at about 20 or 30 of them (finished the rest of them off this morning).
I have no self control!
Why am I continually sabotaging myself.
It's almost like... Okay, Cara, you've flubbed up this past year, lets see how badly you can flub up next year!
And I know what I'm doing, too. I'm not proud of it, but I know exactly when I'm doing it that it's wrong and will make me gain! But I continue to do it anyway.
I don't want to eat anything else that's bad for me, or rather too much for me. I really want to start losing again!
My skinny jeans are getting tight on my. No, I take that back, they're not GETTING tight on me, they ARE tight on me.
Somebody stop me!!!