A week in review...

I'll start off by telling you a little about my run yesterday and then I'll tell you about weigh in this morning...

Yesterday, I'd only planned on running for a half hour. Monday, I ran 4.5 miles (an hour an fifteen minutes), Tuesday I ran 3 miles (an hour), Wednesday I took a break, and Thursday, I ran 4 miles (in a little over an hour) so I figured Friday, I should back it back down to maybe 2 or 3 miles so as not to overdo it too much.

But I ran 4 miles in an hour.

I shouldn't have, though. You ever get those feelings that tell you that you should or shouldn't do something. Well, to start off, I checked the temp and it said 48, same as Thursday. Not too bad. It felt fine on Thursday. So then I headed down the road in my community to do my 5-minute warm up walk. Well, it was anything but a "warm up". Was more like a "freeze your buns off". The wind was blowing about 20 mph straight in my face. Ugh! I pushed through. As soon as I rounded the corner, now the wind was blowing cross ways but I was in between some houses so I couldn't feel it. So I headed out of the community to start my run.

I got a couple of blocks down and there were some sprinklers going across my path, so I had to run out in the street for about 50 feet. No cars came. Until I got about 5 feet from the dry sidewalk and a school bus rounds the corner straight at me. So I speed it up and jump onto the curb to avoid being hit by a school bus driver (they're ruthless, you know?!) and when I came down on the pavement, I didn't notice there was a little patch of grass there and my foot went right into it and my foot went sideways and down I went. All the way down to the ground. In slow motion, too. I rolled over onto my hip and put my hands down to catch me and took the brunt of the fall on my right forearm and elbow. My cell phone, house key and water bottle scattered across the sidewalk.

Okay, I paused for just a second to access any injuries and I didn't feel any. So I picked up my phone, key and bottle and started right back into the run. Other than feeling self-conscious about just falling in public, I didn't feel any scrapes or bumps or any pains at all. So I kept running.

About a couple of more blocks down the road, I passed by a big ole dead bird. Looked like may a sea gull. It wasn't decayed so I thought it probably died very recently. It's big ole wing was sticking straight up in the air as it lay there on it's back with it's beak facing up. I thought, is this another sign? Should I stop and turn around now.

First the bitter wind, then the tumble on the sidewalk, now a dead bird in my path? I should have turned around.

But I didn't.

I kept running.

The rest of the run was completely unremarkable. Other than I started getting really tired and my back started aching about three-quarters of the way through. I wanted so badly to call hubby to come an pick me up and take me home. But I pushed through.

I wish I wouldn't have, though, because after I got back home, I felt exhausted. I felt tired the whole darn day. I wanted to badly to just crawl in bed and take a nap when I got home for lunch. But I didn't. And then there was horrible news at work. They had to lay off a few people. Seven actually. In a company of almost 300 people, that's not bad. Though I know 6 of the 7 people very well. They're making other cut backs to as not to have to lay anyone else off. So the day just trudged along in pain.

The more the day went on, the more my back ached. Now it really hurts. I don't know if it was the fall or if it was me over doing it. I really shouldn't have run yesterday. I should have listened to the signs. I will next time.

And then comes this morning.

I gained.

Yup, I gained 3.2 pounds.

I know. I can't believe it!

I actually gained those three pounds last weekend. I can't remember all I ate, but I know I had eaten all of my flex points by the end of the day Sunday. And by Monday morning, I was up 3 pounds. (Yes, I've started weighing myself at home again, but I have a much better handle on it, emotionally and mentally, so it's okay.) Throughout the week, from day to day, I was up a pound or down a pound but I was able to maintain that 3 pound gain from the weekend.

You know, you'd think with all that running I did EVERY MORNING, that I would have been able to actually lose something! I ran 15.5 miles altogether. Wow! That's almost 4 1/2 hours of running. I just don't get it.

Am I bound to this weight for eternity?

Everyone keeps telling me that I don't need to lose any more weight. As much as I love hearing that, it's so discouraging. It makes me feel complacent. I truly don't think I was meant to be 170 pounds. I still feel fat. I have lost of flab and cellulite all over my tummy, hips, legs and arms. How can I be bound to this weight when I still have so much fat all over my body???

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