I just had a momentary laps into my days-of-fat and I had to come in here and confess it. I feel just awful!
I just had a mad eating frenzy of chips and dip!
I had just eaten my on-point lunch of almond butter and sf blackberry jam sandwich and I was doing okay. Wasn't hungry. And all of the sudden, I ran to the pantry and pulled out the chips and hurried to the fridge and got the dip and stood there at the kitchen counter cramming chip & dip after chip & dip into my mouth like someone had told me that I wasn't going to be able to eat anything for the rest of my life and I had to scarf down as much as possible to help me live.
Oh my goodness!
I couldn't stop.
My finger tips were getting covered with dip as I went from bag to tub feverishly.
All the while, I kept saying "Cara, what are you doing!?" But I couldn't stop. "Cara, stop!". But I wouldn't stop. "Cara, I can't believe you're doing this! STOP!". But I kept going.
Finally after about 5 minutes of non-stop gorging, I finally said "OK, last bite" and I put them away. Deep breath.
Afterwards, I felt so dirty. I'm so ashamed I did that. I don't know why I did that.
I used to do that whenever I was alone at home, but I wouldn't stop until every last chip and ounce of dip was gone. I'd only do that when no one was home. And I'd throw away the evidence that I'd done it in the bottom of the trash can so no one would ever know.
I just went and brushed my teeth trying to get the greasy taste of the chips out of my mouth. I think I might have to go do that again because I can still taste the aftertaste a bit.
The only thing I can think of that might have caused me to do that was that I was a little shaky before lunch. When I was walking down the stairs at work to leave to come home, I remember thinking, "Wow, I'm starving". I was kind of surprised. I didn't feel hungry a minute ago. I was even a little shaky in my legs. I sometimes get that way—shaky for no reason. It doesn't happen often. In fact, it's happened very few times since I've been on WW. I've tested my blood sugar during several different episodes and each time my levels are normal. But in the past, the only way I could get the shaking to stop was to gorge myself on sweets. I guess because there were no sweets in the house, I gorged on chips.
Looking back, that's probably what it was. My instinct to get rid of the shakes. But while I was going through it, it's like I was a crazed animal. Chip crumbs were flying everywhere.
Well, I'm glad it's over. I sure hope I don't do that again. Luckily I was able to stop after only 5 minutes. I don't even know how many chips I consumed. I probably ate half the tub of dip. No idea how to count those points.
Listen to me, here I've just had a very traumatic eating experience and I'm trying to track my points.
I guess that's a good thing, huh?