This is how deeply food is connected to my emotional soul...
Yesterday, I had a fairly rough day—emotionally. I'm not sure why. I'm not PMS'ing. I'm not going through anything horrible at work or at home. I'm not one who get's down at the holidays. So I don't really know why, but all day yesterday I wanted to cry. I was afraid. I was irritated and very short tempered. Yet nothing "happened" to cause it.
I called hubby because usually he can calm me down. Just the sound of his reassuring words makes me feel safe again. The world starts spinning again with his words.
So his words were helpful yesterday, but for some reason, they didn't do the trick.
Here's where the trouble started...
I had to walk over to Editorial to talk with one of the editors and when I was finished, I was walking out of the office when something caught the corner of my eye on one of the desks.
It was a box from Krispy Kreme.
Me and Krispy Kreme go way back. KK has been my favorite donut, no, my favorite food on the planet ever since I was a kid. The taste of those tender, hot, smooth and creamy donuts is like little drops of heaven on my tongue. Their smell is so sweet, it smells like I'm breathing in heaven's air into my nostrals. My long-time love affair with Krispy Kreme has been one that I've dedicated alot of devotion and heart to. Krispy Kreme is my hero.
So as I walked by those two boxes (yes, I said walked by, I actually walked right past them), I could see the light emitting from the edges of the boxes and lighting up the whole room like rays of sunshine from the sides of a cloud just after a rain storm. And I swear I heard music. Angelic music playing low. Violins and harps playing a wonderous song—I swear!
The sound and the light disapated slightly while I walked past it and I thought to myself 'self, keep walking, you can do this, be strong'.
And I did keep walking.
Right into a lady who has been on WW before and knows exactly what I'm going through. I thought, this is perfect, she can help me past this weak moment and help me resist these tiny tidbits of heaven who were still calling to me, yes I could still hear the heavenly music playing in the distant.
So I stopped and said "can I have a Krispy Kreme?" in the most innocent voice I could muster. Of course she said yes right away. That's what you're supposed to say, right? But then she stopped and she said "wait, is that what you want me to say?". Perfect. She knew why I was standing at her desk (actually, I was kneeling like I was purposing to her, but I was actually on my knees begging—oh the shame).
We talked for a minute about how these are my favorite foods in the whole world and how I CAN NOT resist them.
We struck a deal. I promised I'd walk extra last night after dinner if I only ate one. But I could only have one and I would HAVE to walk extra.
The deal was struck, I ran back to those wonderous boxes and opened the first one—all glazed donuts. I opened the 2nd one and it had chocolate glazed and chocolate kreme filled donuts. All of which are delicious, but I'm a plain glazed gal.
I picked up a napkin and put one glazed Krispy Kreme donut on it then I cuped the napkin with that spectacular looking donut in the palm of my hands and lifted it to my nose to breath in the sweet necktar of heaven. Mmmmmmm.
I walked back to my desk, with Krispy Kreme donut cupped in my hands and layed it on my desk to just look at it for a few minutes.
About 10 minutes when by and I finally caved. I had a bite.
Oh my gosh was it the best tasting thing I've tasted in sooooooo long. The chips of sweet glaze the crumbled off onto my lips as my teeth sunk into the tender flesh of the donut. Oh, man!
I sat it back down and waited another 5 minutes before taking another bite.
This went on all afternoon. That donut lasted me about 45 minutes.
Then after the last bite, I scooped up the fallen glaze chips that were left in the napkin until every last morsel was gone.
Here's the sad part...
After that donut, I felt healed. I no longer wanted to cry. I had no more fear. I wasn't irritated any more. I felt complete.
Isn't that sad??
This is how deeply food is connected to the core of my emotional being. That something like a sweet, fatty donut could repair emotional damage like that.
I did not go back for a 2nd donut.
One had done the repair that it needed to do.
My life was back to normal.