why should it be so hard...

many of my friends and family member ask my the same question over and over. i even ask it myself, over and over and over...

what am doing wrong? i'm not losing any weight!

what is the best answer for that? who knows. we're all different. something that works for me might not work for you. but then again, maybe something i'm doing is just what you need to do to kickstart a weight loss again.

whenever someone asks me that, i go into problem solving mode and ask:

#1. what are you eating?
#2. do you exercise regularly?
#3. do you eat your extra 35 weekly points?
#4. do you eat any of your activity points?
#5. are you eating the same thing or the same types of foods day after day?

i just wonder if those are the right questions.

are they?

for me, i could say, yes. but what about for you? if you ask yourself these five questions are you able to figure out what you're doing wrong?

#1. if you're not eating enough food your body will go into hibernation mode and start storing the fat. this will happen until your body gets enough nutrients to where it feels comfortable letting some of that stored fat go. so it could take a while to reverse the effects of not eating enough.

#2. if you're not exercising regularly, and i mean religiously, you simply will not lose weight. i've seen people who can eat like a horse... all the fried foods and sweets they want. but they keep the pounds off because they work out every day. exercise is the key to weight loss. period.

#3. this is purely my philosophy, but i believe that your body needs extra fats and calories to keep it happy. if you never give your body fat (or very little) and you limit your calorie intake, don't you think your body will get wise to this? your body has an auto-balancing system in it that will compensate for any unbalanced diet or chemicals. so it makes sense to me that you should throw some extra fat and calories in your body at least once a week. so yes, dip into those extra 35 points. but my advise is to do it all in one day or maybe two days at the most. to spread it out over the week gets your body used to the extra fat on a regular basis and it won't burn it as easily.

#4. this one is a no brainer for me... if you work our, you have to eat extra that day. your body goes through alot when you work out. it needs some repairing. and extra food is just the ticket. for me, i like to eat a little extra protein (reduced fat peanut butter, boiled egg, etc.) just before i work out so my body will burn the fat not the muscle while i'm working out.

#5. this one makes sense to me, but not to alot of others. i believe that your body does get bored with the same types of foods day after day. once it starts getting the exact same nutrients (be they good or even great nutrients), your body will become complacent and never budge one pound. you can be eating the healthiest meals every day, but if you're eating the same types of foods day after day your body will equal out with the nutrients it gets and you won't be able to lose a pound.

well, that's my 2 cents worth. What do you think?

dreaming of scones...

for the longest time, now, i've been looking for a great scone recipe. i think i've found it. now i can't wait to try the recipe.

i found it on my favorite blog of all times Smitten Kitchen

here are the particulars (you should totally check out their website):

Cream Scones
America’s Test Kitchen Cookbook

2 cups (10 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour, preferably a low-protein brand such as Gold Medal or Pillsbury
1 tablespoon baking powder
3 tablespoons sugar
½ teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons chilled, unsalted butter, cut into ¼-inch cubes
½ cup currants (I used dried cranberries, and chopped them into smaller bits)
1 cup heavy cream

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 425 degrees.

2. Place flour, baking powder, sugar and salt in large bowl or work bowl of food processor fitted with steel blade. Whisk together or pulse six times.

3. If making by hand, use two knives, a pastry blender or your fingertips and quickly cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse meal, with a few slightly larger butter lumps. Stir in currants. If using food processor,remove cover and distribute butter evenly over dry ingredients. Cover and pulse 12 times, each pulse lasting 1 second. Add currants and pulse one more time. Transfer dough to large bowl.

4. Stir in heavy cream with a rubber spatula or fork until dough begins to form, about 30 seconds.

5. Transfer dough and all dry, floury bits to countertop and knead dough by hand just until it comes together into a rough, sticky ball, 5 to 10 seconds. Form scones by either a) pressing the dough into an 8-inch cake pan, then turning the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface, cutting the dough into 8 wedges with either a knife or bench scraper (the book’s suggestion) or b) patting the dough onto a lightly floured work surface into a ¾-inch thick circle, cutting pieces with a biscuit cutter, and pressing remaining scraps back into another piece (what I did) and cutting until dough has been used up. (Be warned if you use this latter method, the scones that are made from the remaining scraps will be much lumpier and less pretty, but taste fine. As in, I understand why they suggested the first method.)

6. Place rounds or wedges on ungreased baking sheet and bake until scone tops are light brown, 12 to 15 minutes. Cool on wire rack for at least 10 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

found a new blog...

i was blog-surfing this evening and came across this blog... MiddleSister

her name is cara, too. that's what caught my eye at first.

then reading her first post i was hooked.

she sounds so real and i can identify with alot of her WW frustrations. you should check her out if you have a minute.

one small step for me...

i learned something about myself today. i don't feel the same way towards food that i used to.

today, and the last few days, i've been in a funk. i don't know why. and don't know what's been causing it. i just feel... discontent and disconnected. and today was the worst. by the end of the work day, i just wanted to go home and crawl up on the couch and veg out in front of the tv.

so we had to stop by the grocery store on the way home to pick up something for dinner. i thought, "i want comfort food".

i was craving comfort food. my emotional slump. but it was kinda scary because i haven't given into my comfort food cravings in quite a while.

i got my favorite snack, which i'm sure most of you will think is weird, but hey, it's my life-time favorite food... ruffles dipped in philadelphia cream cheese.

i used to be able to eat the entire block of cream cheese in one setting. so i sat down in front of the tv and went to work at the block.

i got half way through and stopped and looked at how much i'd eaten. i did a self-check... was i still hungry, was i satisfied, did i really need to continue eating... i did.

i took a few more bites and i stopped to chew real slow and savor each crunch. i took a deep breath so i could smell it. i moved my tongue around and felt the texture i my mouth. i did all the things you're supposed to do to realize that comfort food isn't really all it's cracked up to be.

and you know what... it's not really.

i found that it wasn't as good as i remembered it.

my entire life, i've LOVED chips and cream cheese. it's my all-time comfort food to kill all other comfort foods.

and this time it wasn't comforting me at all.

i think i'm winning this battle against food. and against emotional eating.

this was one small triumph in many more triumphs that will be needed in order to take my life back from food and be free of it's hold.

yes, i finished the block of cream cheese and yes i over ate and yes i felt horrible about it afterwards. but it's in the past and i'm not looking back on it just to say that it didn't satisfy anything in me, emotionally or physically and i don't need to do that ever again.

danger zone at night in front of the tv...

the worst time for me is in the evenings about an hour or two after dinner. that's when the muchies start setting in. and that's when my will power starts waning.

here's what i do to make it through the evening without eating the entire house...

first things first, have something to drink by your side all evening. water is best, but you could have hot tea with sweetener or decaf coffee with sugar free creamer, etc. the best way to tell if you're really hungry or just snacky, is to drink a glass of water and then wait a half hour. if you're still hungry then chances are you need to eat. if you're not still hungry then it was just a craving that you have to resist.


the best thing is to keep my hands busy. i like to crochet, but you could do anything. most importantly, do something that occupies your hands and will be hard to get up from. maybe spread out some photos on the coffee table, the couch, your lap, etc. and sort through them to put into a photo album. the more you feel trapped by what you're doing, the less likely you'll want to get up and go reach for a snack you'll regret.

if you don't have any hobbies, start the evening out with a tall glass of water and some chopped raw veggies (celery, carrots, broccoli, etc.). that way when you start getting munch, you'll have water to help fill you up and munchies to keep your jaws moving.

oh, and there's always bubble gum. nowadays you can get sugar free bubble gum like you used to have when you were a kid. bubble gum will make you feel like you're eating and will most times satisfy the sweet tooth as well as the craving.

by all means, stay out of the kitchen. don't even go past it. if you step one foot in the kitchen, it's all over.

what's for breakfast...

i thought i'd share with you guys some breakfast tips. these are the things i like to eat for breakfast that are low in points (calories and fat) high in fiber and very filling:

Quaker Weight Control Oatmeal (3 to 4 pts) They have three different flavors. They’re each very good! If you make it with water, it’s only 3 points. With fat free milk, it’s 4 pts.

Thomas’ English Muffins (2 to 4 pts) They have a 100 calorie english muffin that’s white bread and is only 1 pt each. Or you can get Honey Wheat for 2pts or Whole Grain for 2pts, but I like white bread better than wheat. I’ll then put Land O Lakes “Light” whipped butter (with canola oil). It’s only 1 pt per TABLESPOON. And it tastes like REAL butter!! Because it’s made with canola oil, you get some of your daily allotment of oils (though I don’t know how much). Sometimes I’ll put the sf jam on it or reduced fat Jiff peanut butter (which is 2pts per tablespoon).

Breakfast Pockets (6pts) Hot Pockets makes a frozen Breakfast Lean Pocket that’s pretty good. I don’t much care for them, but my husband and his mom swear by them. They have ham and cheese as well as sausage and cheese and bacon and cheese. They’re 6pts for two of them. A little pricy (point-wise), but it makes you feel like you’re cheating.

Scrambled Eggs w/Cheese & toast or english muffin (4.5 pts) - This is my favorite breakfast – Egg Beaters Southwestern (it’s eggs (or actually egg whites with added nutrients to compensate for the lack of yoke) with little pieces of onions, bell peppers (I think) and tomatoes or something like that). They have different flavors of eggs, too. And they really taste good. I was leery about them at first, but now I’m hooked. You make them by the quarter cup. One egg is a quarter cup of Egg Beaters. One egg is 1pt. Two eggs is 1 pt. Three eggs is 2 pts. But three eggs is way too much for me. Then I’ll sprinkle about an 1/8 or a 1/4 cup of Kraft 2% Cheddar Cheese (depending on how many eggs I’m having. 1/8 cup is 1pt. 1/4 cup is 1.5pts. Usually I’ll do 2 eggs with a 1/4 cup of cheese so they’re 2.5pts. Then I’ll have a 100 calorie Thomas’ english muffin with light butter for an extra 2 pts. You can also get plain egg beaters and top them with zero point salsa, which is yummy!

Breakfast on the go (4 to 5 pts) This one I can grab as I’m heading out the door and eat either on the way to work or after I get here. I’ll have a Strawberry Nutri-Grain Yogurt Bar. I can only find them at WalMart. They taste like delicate strawberry fig newtons only not gritty or dry. They’re 3pts each. Then I’ll have WW peach or lemon or strawberry yogurt for only 1pt and then if I’m still not full, I’ll have a 1pt Jello Sugar free sundae pudding for only 1pt more.

Water (free points) I’ll usually have flavored water with breakfast. I buy the 16.9 oz water bottles (3.99 at walmart for a case of 32) and then put Crystal Light flavored packets in them. They’re free points. Then when I’m at work, I’ll have the decaf coffee with sugar free or fat free creamer (no sugar needed) or I’ll have tea with a tsp of evaporated milk (in the can) and a couple of Splenda packets and it’s yummy (and only 1 pt per cup).

Oh, and one more thing. It’s always better for me to have a few more points in the morning than at lunch or even in the evening. I can always snack on zero point or one point goodies if I get hungry in between meals, but a hearty breakfast will help get my metabolism kick-started for the day and help me feel better, more energy and all.

my 200 pound reward...

well, i said i was going to do this, and i did... and i don't regret it.

i had set a goal with myself when i was about 50 pounds heavier that i'd get some krispy kreme donuts as my treat when i reach 200 pounds.

because i'm under 200 pounds now, i treated myself to my favorite treat on the planet -- hot, fresh krispy kreme doughnuts!!!!

it was wonderful!!!!

i had 4.

granted the only thing i can eat for the rest of the day is vegetables and zero fat and zero calorie food, but it was totally worth it!!!

it was like a religious experience or something. they tasted so wonderful and creamy and sweet. it's been over a year since i've had one.

it was all i'd hoped it would be (isn't that sad).

i felt like a kid today...

i went biking with my daughter today.

what a blast!

i felt like a kid again!!

although she's an adult now, we still had fun like we were kids. we stopped to get ice cream at this little ice cream shop that was tucked away under the foot bridge. they sell W. Va. hot dogs!!!

No, i didn't get any hot dogs or ice cream, just water. but it was fun stopping (she had a cone :). that's a pic of me on the foot bridge that goes over a major interstate.

i got a picture of my daughter, too, but she'll have to post that one on her blog, if she wants to. had to have proof i went on the bike ride. the pic was taken almost 4 miles away.

we only went for about an hour. we went almost 7 1/2 miles. was soooooooo much fun!!! we've decided to do this more often. maybe once or twice a week. what a blast!!

what's my secret to losing this much weight...

(if there is such a thing)

okay, i had to think about this one for a while to make sure i wasn't giving the "right" answer but the honest answer.

yes, weight watchers did help a bit, but most of the work was done with myself just searching the net, reading article and talking to everyone i could about what causes weight loss.

from that i was able to formulate a simple plan. and this plan is what has worked for me. it might not work for everyone. but hopefully something will help you along the way.

watch everything i eat - first track everything you put in your mouth for at least a couple of weeks before you start your weight loss. try to find out the fat, calories, protein, fiber, and carbs for each of these items and add the daily totals up to see how much you're actually eating every day. though everyone's body is different, if you're consuming more than 2,000 calories a day and more than 30-40 grams of fat, you're probably not going to lose an ounce. in fact you might just be a stead increase in pounds or at the very least keeping your weight the same, year after year.

drink more water - i've read several medical experts who say that you should be drinking half your weight (in ounces) of water each day. So if you're 200 pounds, you should be drinking 100 ounces of water each day. that's about 6 bottles (16.9 oz) of water. that's alot! but it's the only way to flush the excess fat out of your body. i can't drink water, so i have to put crystal light or some sort of flavored mix-in to my water. so long as it's sugar free and decaffeinated.

exercise regularly - i still only walk every day. i walk for an hour 6 days a week. that's all my exercise is right now. it's working for me. just find out what works for you. it might be aerobics, biking, jogging, calisthenics, or hard core weight lifting. whatever it is, just do it consistently. that's what your body needs is consistent movement.

watch what you eat - try low fat solutions. if you're eating out, only eat half of what they serve you. if you get hungry between meals, have a tablespoon of peanut butter or something really high in protein and fiber that will stick to your bones and tie you over. drinking lots of water will tie you over, too.

stop thinking about food so much - this one is the hardest. especially if you're alone most of the time. and especially if you've spent every waking moment of your life thinking about what you're going to eat next. and i still haven't tackled it. but find a hobby. find two. take up reading more. find favorite shows on the tv. walk your dogs more. take up genealogy. you'll be surprised at how much you can become addicted to something like that.

find a network of friends to rely on - this one is the most important for me. once i decided to lose weight, i didn't want to tell anyone. i thought if i didn't tell anyone then no one would look bad upon me if i didn't stick with it. but i found that if i told someone, it made me accountable to that person. i didn't want to look like a loser or someone who isn't strong enough to lose weight or someone who just doesn't care about their health. so i started telling more people. pretty soon i was telling everyone i spoke to. the more people who knew, the more i had to stay on it.

now all of these are just my opinion and from my perspective. they might not all help you. but i figure i can put out there what helped me and hopefully it'll help someone else.

i wish i'd found someone like me when i first started losing weight. a real person, with a real weight problem talking about what helped them.

major milestone reached today...

i reached a major goal today.

i'm below 200 pounds. and made it official today with my weigh in.

i've now lost almost 68 pounds in 9 months (or 40 weeks). that's 1.7 pounds a week. FABULOUS!

i haven't been this low since i was pregnant with my only daughter almost 19 years ago.

lots of hard work went into this loss. sacrifice. dedication. depravity. tears. smiles. and every conceivable emotion my body is capable of.

i couldn't have done it without my support team. first of all, my husband going through it all with me. he's lost almost 60 pounds. then there's my mom, my mother in law, my friends, my co-workers and my weight watchers meeting-mates.

without them i WOULD NOT have been able to lose this weight.

so thank you to everyone who's encouraged, complimented and help in ways they'll never know.

Russian Tea Cake Recipe

i thought i'd share a delightful recipe i found over the holidays. i made these cookies and they were only 2 points a piece and very little sugar in them (just in the powdered sugar coating). and they're absolutely delicious. they'll melt in your mouth.

I got the recipe from my favorite baking website of all times: smittenkitchen.com

Russian Tea Cakes, Mexican Wedding Cakes

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, room temperature
2 cups powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup pecans, hazelnuts or other nuts, toasted and finely ground (if using hazelnuts, wrap in a dishtowel while still warm and roll about until most of the brown skins come off)
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

Using electric mixer, beat butter in large bowl until light and fluffy. Add 1/2 cup powdered sugar and vanilla; beat until well blended. Beat in flour, then nuts. Divide dough in half; form each half into ball. Wrap separately in plastic; chill until cold, about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Whisk remaining 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar and cinnamon, if using, in pie dish to blend. Set cinnamon sugar aside.

Working with half of chilled dough, roll dough by 2 teaspoonfuls between palms into balls. Arrange balls on heavy large baking sheet, spacing 1/2 inch apart. Bake cookies until golden brown on bottom and just pale golden on top, about 18 minutes. Cool cookies 5 minutes on baking sheet. Gently toss warm cookies in cinnamon sugar to coat completely. Transfer coated cookies to rack and cool completely. Repeat procedure with remaining half of dough. (Cookies can be prepared 2 days ahead. Store airtight at room temperature; reserve remaining cinnamon sugar.)

Sift remaining cinnamon sugar over cookies and serve.

Makes about 4 dozen.

walking...

so i'll start by saying... i hate walking!

that being said, it's my chosen form of exercise.

i even quit walking for about 3 months... no exercise whatsoever for 3 whole months. but that was when i was about to quit dieting altogether and that's an entirely different blog.

now, i walk between 3 and 4 miles a day. i usually walk by myself, but it not for lack of trying to find walking buddies. i ask everything i meet if they walk and if they live near i do. i've found 3 friends, so far, that walk with me on a regular basis. well, actually, one of them just quit walking with me. but that's okay because she is working out in the mornings with her husband. she said i inspired her to get healthy again... but that's an entirely different blog, too.

so there are two ladies i walk with two days a week. we usually walk for about an hour. the 2nd lady just started with us last week. i'm very excited to have someone else to walk with. the more people the more dedicated i have to be. no sleeping in. no hitting the snooze. no over sleeping. the more people who depend on me to walk with the more i have to do it.

but when i walk by myself it gets very boring. i have to keep mixing things up. i listen to different CDs, sermons, pod casts, audio books. anything to keep my mind occupied while i mundanely walk through the neighborhood.

i have to walk in different routes because if i walk the same routes, i get so psychotically board.

so i'm all the time planning new routes to walk and looking for new things to listen to.

it's great exercise, though. it builds great endurance. it helps me to be able to walk up three flights of stairs 4 times a day (at work). before i walked, i could barely make it up two flights. it gives me great energy, too.

so it's boring as all get up. it's mundane and monotonous. but its good for me. and it makes me feel good (well, not in my joints and muscles after a long walk). but all in all, i think i'll keep doing it. it's working for me, so far.

i need a cupcake...

in watching a new tv show tonight i was hit in the face with a very simple line that most people in america won't even remember... "i need a cupcake" she said after her high-powered fashion show had just flopped and she was being ridiculed by the press. the first thing she clings to is a cupcake. food.

see how subliminal it is?

something as innocent as this keeps seeping back into our brains telling us food will fix anything.

the thing of it is, it struck a cord with me because i'm sensitive to it, i'm obsessing over it lately and most importantly I LOVE CUPCAKES!!!!

well, that's all i wanted to say for tonight. i just wanted to point out how yet again i was bombarded by food in the must inconspicuous place... no way of escaping it. only to think of how i can get a cupcake that would be on my diet.

hmmmmm.

who said this would be easy...

i don't know, but they should be shot!

this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my life.
in looking back, i can see that i've lost an average of 1.75 pounds each week. over the course of 39 weeks.

over various weeks, i had to lose a total of 4 pounds, TWICE. that is, i gained at various weeks and then had to lose that weight again. as if it's not hard enough to do the firs time. it sucks having to lose the same weight all over again.

and there were 3 weeks when i broke even.

all of that doesn't really sound like that much, but when you're sacrificing the one thing in life that you can always count on to be there for you, the one thing you can turn to to pick you up, the one thing you love more than most things in life... food... it sucks to sacrifice, although, now sacrifice doesn't even sound like the right word... it sounds to trivial... to deny... to deprive... it just sucks that you can deprive yourself of something so precious for so long, every day, every hour of the day thinking about the deprival and the denial state you're in, only to lose nothing or very little or worse, to lose nothing. it hurts.

so why do i keep doing it?

why do i do it at all?

how do i keep doing it?

the only thing i can think of is to look back at my success. instead of looking at the 4 pounds i had to lose twice, look at the 60 pounds that i only had to lose once. instead of looking at the 6 weeks i broke even or gained, look at the 33 weeks that i lost.

but why do i keep doing it?

what's my motivation?

my life

i want to live a long and healthy life. i want to be able to climb a mountain IF i want to. i want to be able to go hiking in the woods without fear of passing out after a short period of walking. i want to run a marathon. i want to be buff. i want to live long. i want to outlive everyone in my family. i want to be able to take a hot air balloon ride without having to pay an absorbent amount of money (they charge by the pound, you know).

these things sound so simple and basic in life.

that's all i want.

i just have to keep reminding myself that these simple things in life are all worth the sacrifice... the denial... the deprivation... the pain... it's all worth it.

I LOVE FOOD!!!

that's how i got there was that i LOVED (and still do) food!

i don't know what started it all. my mom says it started when i was a baby and i'd eat too much of my baby food so much so that it would make me puke. i remember over eating many times when i was a kid to the point of throwing it up. i just couldn't get enough of good food... or any food for that matter.

you know, they say that half the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem? well, for me, i've always known i've had an unhealthy obsession to food. so for me, admitting it just doesn't do anything. yea, sure it's hard to say i'm addicted to food or addicted to anything for that matter. but food is just so convenient and friendly and so easy to love. and it's EVERYWHERE.

a friend told me one time the way to beat any addiction is to avoid it. just don't look at it, don't think about it and walk away from it if it crosses your path.

how in the heck do you avoid food???

it's everywhere!!!

it's on tv, in every store and grocery store, it's what you have to do to make yourself live, it's in the smells you smell on your way home from work, walking down the halls at work, it's EVERYWHERE!!! what's worse is that our culture fixates around food. it's the reason friends and family get together. it's the reason to "enjoy" life... let's eat at that new restaurant, so-and-so said they have the best ribs on the planet... on and on it goes.

so there's no avoiding... there's no resisting... there's nothing you can do about it but face it... food is always going to be a challenge for me.

i fight it every day. i think about it every waking moment and dream about it when i sleep. so what do i do about that?

try to focus on the positive aspects of my weight loss. you know, in a way, this weight loss thing is like food therapy. i can still obsess over food. think about it all the time. plan what i'm going to eat next. but the only thing is, now, i have to be smart about it. i have to plan healthy food. i have to think how i'm gong to spend my calories by making wise decisions.

so my obsession with food is still there, just focused in a different direction.

next time, i think i'm gong to talk about some of the successes on my diet.

how i got there...

well, i've been overweight since my metabolism changed in high school. i think it was 10th or 11th grade. overnight, i started packing on the pounds. in high school i was maybe 2o to 30 pounds overweight at any given time. but that was okay because i was still active and happy.

after high school i moved out on my own and couldn't afford anything... least of all food. so i ate the free food i got at work... krispy kreme donuts. yup, that's right, i lived on glazed donuts.

oddly enough, i lost weight because that's ALL i was eating.

after about a year i was finally able to afford food. but only the really bad-for-you food. nothing healthy. what was the point, right? so my love of food was kicked into high gear. i'd eat whatever i wanted whenever i wanted and as much as i wanted.

then i got pregnant and had my first and only child... a beautiful daughter!

when i came home from the hospital, i weight over 200 pounds. that was AFTER having the baby. Woah!!! i had somehow gained 75 pounds in a matter of a couple of years. and of course being pregnant gave me all the more excuse to eat whatever i wanted and chalk it up to cravings, right?!

from there i'd put on 10-15 pounds year after year. until finally i had made it all the way up to 275 pounds by the age of 30. i stayed there for years until now, i'm 41 and when i started dieting, i was 265 pounds. last year, i went on NutriSystems for a few months and lost 10 pounds. somehow i kept that off, though not for lack of trying... trying to eat everything in sight. :)

and why did i do that??

where do i start...

i'm wondering where the best place to start is...

i think at the beginning, to begin with.

i started my weight loss journey on my daughter's 18th birthday. it wasn't planned that way. it just happened. my husband and i went to our first weight watcher's meeting together. yes, weight watchers.

now before you click onto another blog, let me say something about that.

the main reason we tried weight watchers is #1 because we'd heard of so many people having great success with it and #2 it was a place where we could go and learn how to eat better and how to eat foods that would help us lose weight.

and they did.

i lost 5.4 pounds my first week. Woohoo!!!!

i learned a little from weight watchers but most of it i learned on my own. reading articles. reading magazines. reading the booklets they handed out. talking to people, there at weight watchers and all over the place, about nutrition and fitness.

i have to say the main thing that i found out at first, was it was nice to have a place i could go once a week and report to someone else about my weight loss efforts.

it was nice to have someone, or actually many someone else's, that i could talk to about the things i tried and didn't work, listen to how they tried new things that worked for them, etc. what i didn't know at first, was that those meetings were my salvation. without being accountable to someone else, i couldn't have done it. i have absolutely no will power whatsoever and i LOVE food. that's why i was obese and over 130 pounds over weight.

over 130 pounds over weight.

wow, how did i get there...

why i started this blog...

so far, i've lost 65 pounds. i've done it in 8 1/2 months.

that's quite an accomplishment (if I do say so myself).

it's an accomplishment that i'm proud of. i will tell anyone i meet that i'm on a diet. i have to. and that's where this blog comes in.

the only way i've been able to lose this weight, is by including others in my weight loss journey. i can't do it on my own. i have no will power (boy that should be a four letter word!). and i have a huge addiction to food.

they say that half of overcoming an addiction is admitting what the root of the problem is. for me, that doesn't work. i've known most of my adult life that i have an unhealthy obsession with food. i've admitted it to many people as well as myself. but i'm still addicted to food. i LOVE food. i love everything about it. i think about it constantly. my every day is spent contemplating what i'm going to eat next.

so for me to be on a diet and to actually be losing weight is no small miracle.

along my journey of losing this weight, i've shared my struggles and triumphs with various people (whoever will listen to me, just about). and then sometimes, i'll hear a story of encouragement from them saying how something that i told them about my struggles helped them.

it got me to thinking... maybe i could do the same thing on the web and help other's who are in my same situation. what a great thing to offer to the world. maybe nothing i say here will help anyone. maybe it will. either way, i'm benefitting because like i said in the beginning, the only way i can lose weight is to tell other people about it. so hopefully this will be mutually beneficial.

i have 65 more pounds to go before i'm at my "goal" weight.

so the 2nd half of my journey begins.

one thing i want to do is interject things that have happened over the past 8 1/2 months as well as what i'm currently struggling with. kind of bring everyone up to speed. so that's probably where i'll start next is at the beginning and kind of bring everyone up to speed with my weight loss journey.

if i can bring any kind of help or relief to anyone out there going through this horrible thing called "diet", please let me know. i would LOVE to hear your story, too.