Monday, June 30, 2008

no running... diet's suck!

Well, I didn't go walking or running this morning.

I'm a bum!!

I set the alarm for 6am and I had gone to bed around 10:30 last night, so I had gotten plenty of sleep. But alas, I couldn't get my lazy butt out of bed.

I hate this!

I WILL get up tomorrow morning, though. I PROMISE MYSELF AND YOU I WILL!!!

(If I don't, please feel free to thoroughly let me have it!)

I made a Tiramisu cake last night to take in for magazine proofs today. It was the most heavenly cake ever and it turned out perfect. Everyone at worked LOVED it. Some even had two pieces.

And the question you're asking yourself right now is how many pieces did I have, right?

Well, I had one. But it was only about a half inch piece. After all Tiramisu is my favorite dessert in the whole wide world and I just had to try it. I'm glad I did. It was wonderful. But it was not very much sugar at all. The frosting had no sugar. The filling had no sugar. And the cake only had one cup of sugar for the whole recipe. So I think that was why I could resist the rest of it so well. Once I start eating sugar, I can't stop. And we all know why, right?

I was reading my mom's blog today, getting caught up on the last couple of days, and she's been contemplating taking a vacation from her diet for a while. She's been having a hard time losing over the past couple of months. And she was talking about how all she thinks about from sun up to sun down (and then some) is what she's going to eat next.

It got me to thinking. I'm like that too. Some people say that "food addictions" are "all in your head". And some say they're a legitimate addiction. My verdict is still out (though I used to be convinced that I am an addict). But I do know this... I think about and talk about food constantly.

My husband says sometimes "that's all you talk about". He's right. When I'm not talking about it, I'm thinking about it. And I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about what I'm going to eat next. Even before I started WW.

I crave things all the time, too. I'll be sitting there at work, minding my own business, and out of no where I'll get a craving for this burger I used to get up in Alaska at this one particular burger joint. I get very specific cravings most of the time. It's rare that I'll say "I'm craving pizza". Most times, it's "I'm craving a slice of 88th Street Pizza", etc.

I wonder if all people who struggle with their weight are like this? I wonder if others, who don't have weight problems ever sit around thinking about food?

I don't know if it's an addiction or not, but I do know it's all I think about.

If it is an addiction, I don't think I'll ever break myself of it. I mean, most addicts never fully recover, you know. They may get a handle on it, but it'll always be there calling to them. So I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that's why I'm so afraid that I'll gain it all back once I get to my goal. I know I'll be craving things then and I'll be more likely to give in because I won't have to sacrifice as much as I am now. Something tells me I'll never be off of this diet for the rest of my life.

Am I ready for that???


1 comment:

Deborah said...

You're your mother's daughter thats for sure.

Sorry we couldn't go walking this morning because I slept in 'til 9:00 :o)

I LOVE Tiramisu!! Glad you only had one little piece. You are doing so well right now and I don't want you to get like Mommy is now.