So weigh in this morning was horrible. On so many different levels.
I gained 4.8 pounds.
I don't understand it. I ate my 21 points a day (plus a couple of earned activity points each day). I ate most of my flex points last weekend so I'd have all week to work them off (however, I only gained 1 pound over the weekend). I earned 27 activity points. What the heck!
Okay, I think I might know what's up. Stress.
#1. My job responsibilities used to be a full time job. Since the layoffs, I've taken on about 50% more workload so I'm doing 150% of the work in the same amount of time I used to do 100% of my work.
#2. It's the end of the magazine cycle which means all of the work done on the magazine all week gets wrapped up and finalized in order to ship out to the printer. I call myself the "human magazine funnel". Nothing goes into the magazine unless I put it there. Editorial writes it. Design creates the artwork. Advertising sells the ads and provides the ad material. What I do is take all those pieces and build a magazine—page by page. So the last week of the cycle is getting the million lose ends tied off and getting each page of the magazine finalized to it will print correctly. This past cycle was rough. The last several months have been rough. Each issue seems to get worse and worse. The layoffs have changed everyone's schedules and processes so everyone's late getting things to me and the schedule can't be moved, so I have to compensate.
#3. I just found out that a good friend at work's mom had Alzheimer's disease before she passed away. She died a couple of years ago and I didn't know my friend then, but that's one of my greatest fears in life is getting Alzheimer's. It runs in my family. And I couldn't stop crying for her. I can't imagine what she went through with her mom towards the end. I can't imagine my own mother forgetting who I am.
#4. This is the big one. My daughter moved out. My only daughter. She's going to be 20 on Tuesday so I know it's time for her to move out. But I am not ready for it. She's still in college. Just finished her 2nd year. And I just don't think this move was the best time and situation for her to move into. I think her expenses are still way too high to take on the extras of rent, utilities and food. She moved in with 2 roommates, one of which, she's just met (the other she's know for 2 years). I know, I have to let her go. She's an adult. She needs to be on her own. But I just don't like it. I'm so worried for her.
Friday morning was especially hard because it was the last time I'd hear her alarm clock go off. It's the last time I'd wake her up. It's the last time we'd have breakfast together. It's the last time I'd hug her goodbye. It was my morning of lasts. And then I got to work and had about 25 hours of work that I had to cram into 7 hours in order to get the magazine shipped out on time. Everyone else was too busy to help. I cried my way through the day.
One good part to this past week was that I didn't eat one cupcake. I baked cupcakes for a friend at work (she commissioned me) and I had so much fun doing it. They were Snickerdoodle cupcakes which is butter cupcakes filled with cinnamon cream cheese filling and stopped with boiled white icing (made with meringue). But I resisted and did not eat even one of them.
And then this morning, when I entered my weight on WW.com, first of all I cried because I'm now back up to 172.2. I swore I'd NEVER get back up in the 170s again. But on top of that, after I input my weight, the darn pop up window said it's time to recalculate my points. I'm thinking, WHAT? Please don't take away another point. 21 points is already slim pickings. Would you believe the stupid thing GAVE me a point back??!!! Seriously! I now have 22 daily points allowance.What the heck is up with that?!?! I don't even know what to do with that. I've NEVER had WW GIVE me points!
Okay, tell me where I'm supposed to go from here. Because I don't know.