Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Overcoming fears and achieving goals...

Biggest Loser was great tonight. I cried big ole alligator tears when Tara crossed the finish line. Then I did it all over again when Helen crossed. I didn't cry for Mikey because even though it was a huge victory for him, I could totally empathize that it just wasn't the huge victory he'd wanted. But darn it all, I cried when Ron crossed the finish line. But I wasn't crying for Ron, I was crying for Mikey. He was so stinking proud of his dad. And Max was crying from like a mile back from the end of the race.

I can't believe that show finally got me crying. Crying like a baby.

I can identify with that show and those contestants so much. I know exactly what they were going through when the got home. That overwhelming fear that they couldn't do it and that they'd go back to the "way it used to be". That paralyzing fear. That fear that derails.

Tara was so afraid that she'd completely fallen of the wagon when those Pita chips attacked her in the grocery store. She had everything under control and then her old food addictions set in and it scared her to death.

Helen was so afraid to drink that glass of wine. What if she couldn't stop. What if she convinced herself that it was okay to drink a glass of wine on a regular basis and then she'd be right back where she was.

Mike was so afraid that all of his hard work wasn't going to be enough. And afraid he wouldn't have time for him.

I could totally identify with each of them. That fear is so tangible. That fear is what kept me from reaching my 100 pound goal last fall. I just knew that once I reached my goal I'd mess up some how and gain it all back. Then I was afraid that if I ate something that I loved and wouldn't be able to stop. I just knew that I wouldn't be able to do it. Or worse yet, I'd do it, I'd lose all the weight, but then I'd gain it all back. I love food after all. Why would I want to deprive myself of it for the REST OF MY LIFE??

But I've learned what Tara, Helen and Mike have learned. I CAN do it. And if I fall off, I'll just get back on and life will go on.

Life will go on.

So one pound at a time. One day at a time. I'm continuing my journey. And I'm loving every minute of it.

I went walking with my WW team tonight. We walked a very brisk 3 miles. Was great getting to know new people and walking on that beautiful trail. Here's a pic:

Yea, there were only 4 of us and a non WW member who walked with us and took the picture. But at least we're out there doing it, right?

We're walking again tomorrow night and the next night.


Andrea said...

I think that's great that you have people to walk with. I bet the time just flies by so fast.
I love the Biggest Loser show too. Tonights episode was awesome. i loved it! I'm lookin' forward to the finale!

jinxxxygirl said...

Fear of succeeding. I know what you mean Cara. Succeeding just opens up a whole new can of worms. I guess thats why i'm in no particular hurry to get there. Why i keep stalling . What if i get there and can't keep it there?
It would be so easy to fall back into old habits. Mine are always knocking on the door.
But then i read someones blog like 'Carol' who has achieved her goal and is maintaing. She struggles but she keeps it together. It is doable.

Kelly said...

I cried at BL too. It was just so emotional. Gosh I'd love to the one to cross that finish line. The only thing stopping me is me. :)

Congrats on getting out there and walking.

fatty McButter Pants said...

What a thoughtful post. I think that's the big AHA. If you fall off, you jump right back on. the next day, the next meal even.

Life happens. I don't want to deprive myself either. I have to be kind to myself, give myself a break. Remember how far I have come.

I guess I picked a good night to start watching Thr Biggest Loser. I was very inspired.

Thanks for sharing your life...

tisha said...

I so agree with you about the Biggest Loser show last night. I was sobbing like a baby. It really was motivating for me. I'd like to TRY and jog a little on the treadmill. If Max could do it at his size, then I'm sure I could at least TRY it. The picture is great. You're looking mah-velous Cara!

MaryFran said...

I bawled like a baby during TBL also!

I loved the fact that they put in the segments about the contestants being afraid to eat the chips and drink the wine. Because it's so easy to lose sight of the fact that this is life and we need to maintain a balance!